Pretend Rep Clearly Beloved by Constituency
As Congress has been out of town all week, we haven't heard from Pretend Representative Shelley Sekula-Gibbs in a while (she's the gal from Texas who will keep Tom DeLay's seat warm for a couple weeks before Dem. Nick Lampson, who actually won the election, shows up). No word yet on just what she said to The Hammer's staff to cause them to all walk out during her open house, nor on the progress of her investigation into all of them. But from the Houston Press comes this bit of Sekulania: a brief list of just some of the names accepted as write-in votes for Shelley by the Fort Bend County elections office.
Voters cast their write-in ballots for, among others: Kelly Segula Gibbs, Snelly Gibbr, Schikulla Gibbs, Sheila Gibbs, Shelly Schulla Gibbs, Shelly Gibkula and, by someone who obviously never wanted the joy of using the machine to end, ShelleySkulaGibbsssss.
The absolute best one -- perhaps the best political name of all time -- was (we are not lying) "Shelly DraculaCunt Gibs." It counted. And we will say it over and over again until the end of DraulaCunt's all-too-brief term.
Turkeys of the Year [Houston Press]