Prophet Lady Has Magic Staff, Not Afraid To Use It To Make Trump President Again
Christian Prophetess Kat Kerr — the one with the pink hair who looks like she would just be, like, some cool, eccentric, artsy lady who just wants to sell you some handmade jewelry and talk about crystals but is in fact not at all cool and is instead very terrible — had predicted that President Donald Trump would serve a second term. Like many other people who consider themselves prophets, she is not giving up. She has insisted that Trump, in fact, won by a landslide. Just not literally.
So she's a real hoot.
Anyway, as much as Kat Kerr may believe that God intends to make Trump president again, Trump himself isn't doing much to help her out. He's just like ... hanging out at Mar-a-Lago and CPAC and not raising an army or anything. But Kat Kerr and God, whom Kat Kerr hangs out with basically all the time, feel very strongly that he should get his shit together and start presidenting again. So she's pulling out all the stops — and breaking out the staff.
Wearing her best American flag shawl and standing in front of a sign that says "I don't do demons," Kerr pounded her staff on the ground while reciting a special prayer meant to give Trump the courage he needs to attempt another coup.
We have some great news for everybody, I'm so excited for the celebration that's about to happen for all of us, but I'm here also to make a declaration of destiny. And right now I declare (staff! staff! staff!) and I call forth our President to take his rightful place. Trump, to come forward right now, step into your destiny, that God gave you, called you, appointed you and anointed you for this time! To declare over America. To help America.
This is His choice and we call you forth right now, in the name of Jesus Christ, who is with you, who will always be with you. The people are with you! The prophets of God are with you! The military is with you! So (staff!) come (staff!) forth (staff) and step (staff!) into (staff!) your destiny (staff!) NOW! Sayeth the lord. It is your day. And your hour. That you have been faithful. To watch over this country and these people, to love it like God loves it.
So be it (staff!) in Jesus name! (staff!) COME FORTH!
Is this a prayer to God or to Donald Trump? Because according to Kerr, God is already in on this plan and wants Trump to go and be America's Forever President. It's not clear how this is all supposed to work. Does she think Trump hears prayers?
It is not really clear what the staff is for either, but Kerr seems to think it gives her prayer a little more oomph. I know that Charlton Heston had a staff when he played Moses, so maybe God is just super into staffs and more likely to listen when there's one there. I don't really know how this works, honestly.
Frankly, I am very interested to see how far she and the other prophets take this. Is it going to continue over the next three years, with stranger explanations and increasingly larger staffs? Or will they ever just admit that they were wrong? Judging by how it's going so far, I'm gonna assume larger staffs.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse