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This is Public Policy Polling right now.


Public Policy Polling, or "PPP" as it's called between the sheets, is one of the most accurate polling companies out there. We cite PPP polls all the time, because A) journalism and B) PPP is the company that likes to ask hilarious questions like "Hey Texas, do you think ACORN is going to steal the election for Hillz, even though ACORN doesn't exist"? Or that time they asked people whether they like that kid-diddling Duggar boy better than they like Obama. Yep, PPP has its finger on the snarky-ass pulse of 'Murica, and that is why PPP is fun.

And the company enjoys having a Twitter account, oh yes it does. Allow us to curate the last couple weeks of PPP Twitter, as it deals with the "scandal" of a fake memo about a fake poll with the company's name on it, that says Trump is winning 74% OF THE VOTE IN FLORIDA, whereas Hillary only has 9% support. Obviously, for Trump supporters, this was a REAL POLL, and PPP is SKEWING THE RESULTS, because that is what polling companies do, for liberals. Is the company denying the authenticity of the poll? Heck nope, that would be no fun, when they could just spend two weeks making fun of Trump supporters, for being stupid. BONUS: They've even taken a moment to call Jill Stein A Idiot, also too!

Here is the fake polling memo, and then we will delve into some hot, sexxxy Tweeter action:

LOLOL anybody who actually believes that's real is ... yeah. Especially when you read all the way to the bottom:

Totally normal pollster language!

It all began August 17, but didn't heat up until the next day. PPP's first tweet about the fake polling memo was a pithy, "lol someone has a lot of time on their hands." But then the shit hit the fan when some "Susan" lady was like U MUST ANSWER THESE CHARGES OF SKEWING THE POLLS. And PPP did answer!

See? She was alerting the media in the same tweet! Wasn't PPP scared of being exposed??? Apparently not! Those lovable scamps would rather laugh their asses off:

Trump supporters are like new puppies, sort of, minus the cute factor and with more panty accidents. It's very important to make sure they can expel ALL THEIR EXCESS ENERGY, so they'll sleep through the night. So RAGE, RAGE, RAGE, YOU MORONS, RAGE!

So "Susan" had her scoop, about #skewedpolls, and she ran with it. Meanwhile PPP kept giggling:

Did it die down? Hell no. August 22:

You have to understand, they were tweeting results of their ACTUAL polls the entire time, like in a news-type way, and this was all happening at the same time.

August 23:

ALSO on August 23:

We're going to skip ahead, past more idiots who just KNOW Trump has 74% support among Floridians, wingnuts saying this is "wrecking their reputation," and PPP responding, "Among the sub 50 IQ set, maybe." ZING!

It got really fun when PPP started trolling Donald Trump directly, first about polling showing him doing REALLY WELL in Utah! Remember our post about how Hillary is doing exceptionally well compared to other recent Democratic candidates in deep-red Mormon Utah? Yes, well, Trump is still very much winning there, and he is so 'scited about that:

On August 27, PPP trolled Trump by pointing out that in its most recent (SKEWED!) poll, he only got two percent of the black vote. So fun!

But then a new "Susan" came along, this time called "Carmen." She is very S-M-R-T, and she, on August 27, still believed the fake polling memo about Florida was real. She said, "Where there is smoke, there is fire!" And there was a "fire" emoji next to it, so we would know what she was talking about:

The next day, Carmen was still tweeting, and PPP tweeted back, saying, "Carmen I'm just relieved you haven't found the one where Trump is up 88-4 in Hawaii yet." SHE WILL FIND IT, AND WHEN SHE DOES, YOU ARE DONE FOR, YOU BASTARDS.

Is this still going on? OF COURSE, because Trump supporters are dumb as shit. And also because, as this two week period reached its climax, DONALD TRUMP'S IDIOT SON RETWEETED SOMETHING ABOUT THE POLL. This, truly, is the pièce de résistance of all the important work Public Policy Polling has been doing, since it was a baby:

RIGGED! If Hillary wins, it will be because it was RIGGED! BY PUBLIC POLICY POLLING!

Glorious. Just fucking glorious.

Now, for your dessert, remember how we mentioned that PPP took time out from LOLing at Donald Trump and his supporters to send a special LOL in dingbat Jill Stein's direction?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE END.

[Public Policy Polling on Tweeter]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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