Purge Of White House Website Complete: Gays And Climate Change No Longer Exist

Not that we didn't see it coming...

Terrific news, America! Climate Change is over! So is Global Warming! Unfortunately, LGBTQ people have also ceased to be -- at the White House website, at least.

We warned you as the Inauguration was just ending, when a sharp Twitter user noticed a change at the Department of Labor:

For the moment, they haven't taken down the Labor Department's page busting myths about increasing the minimum wage. Give them a few hours.

Whitehouse.gov, on the other hand, has already sent several Obama administration priorities straight down the memory hole, with Stalinist efficiency:

We decided to do a little looking around ourselves, with variations. No LGBT, LGBTQ, gay rights, or marriage equality in the White House any more. But there is one hit for "gay": a single use of the old correct meaning of "happy," exactly as the New Order would have it.

Not that Donald Trump has a problem with the "L...B...G...T...Q" community. The IT team simply needs to update all the code so it reflects the way Trump pronounces those letters, as if he were reading off a menu at some exotic foreign restaurant.

Hey, how about climate? Maybe there's something about reducing CO2? Here's an archived version of Barack Obama's climate change page from this morning:

Let's do a little searching on that climate stuff now!

At least Mamie Eisenhower liked the climate in San Antonio. And look, there IS a mention of "climate": In the Trump administration's plan to take us back to the good old days of freely-burning oil and coal:

But don't worry, there's a paragraph in there about "responsible stewardship of the environment," as long as it doesn't get in the way of burning all the oil and coal we can get out of the ground. You see, the EPA is going to be "refocused" on "its essential mission of protecting our air and water." Like, maybe, just enough to keep the Cuyahoga River from catching fire again. Probably.

So, anything else missing from the White House website?

Oh, yeah. Figures.

Fortunately, the Whitehouse.gov folks are at least on top of America's REAL priorities:

The MAGIC WORDS ARE FINALLY THERE! We feel safer already.

UPDATE: Yes, we read the Snopes article about this. We understand the old WH site is still online at ObamaWhiteHouse.gov. So, fine, it's not so much that the White House website has been "scrubbed" of references to climate and LGBTQ rights. It's that those topics are not enough of a priority to the incoming team that they merit a mention on Day One -- or, perhaps, ever.

As someone on Twitter calling this piece "fake news" said, "What in the past year and a half would lead you to believe they care about any of those issues?" True enough -- although there was that fifteen minutes after the Orlando massacre when Trump insisted the "L...B...G...T...Q community" should support him, since he'd keep them safe from the murderous Radical Islamic Terrorists. On the first day of the new Whitehouse.gov, the Radical Islam Terrorists merit a mention. The L...B...G...T...Q community doesn't -- not even as an imaginary area of concern.

[Motherboard / Whitehouse.gov / Jonathan Lovitz on Twitter / Angela Fritz on Twitter / Jay Franzone on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc