Hillary Clinton, We Found This QAnon Guy For YOU TO MURRRRDERRRR
It was only a matter of time before one of the QAnon people ran for office. They are people who believe that a high level government official (who is maybe a not-actually-dead John F. Kennedy Jr.) is sending them clues on 8chan about Donald Trump and Robert Mueller's secret quest to end Hillary Clinton's evil child sex slave ring. It is only right that the QAnon follower running for office is doing so in Florida.
Matthew Lusk, a Republican Florida bookseller and QAnon believer who gives out some very serious John Locke vibes (the one from Lost, not the philosopher), is hoping to beat out popular Democratic incumbent Al Lawson and represent Florida's Fifth District in the United States House of Representatives.
Lusk shared some of his very interesting theories and plans in an interview with Florida Politics:
"I belong to no secret societies or clubs, Q is one of my issues because it's definitely a leak from high places," Lusk said. "I follow Q, but I don't know who or what Q is." [...]
"[A] manifestation of my heart and personality and having a certain amount of knowledge of the evil power players … prods me into action," Lusk said.
"I pray over making wise decisions and am taking the sword of truth to D.C. to decapitate the swamp creatures, and I'll chase off the RINOS while I'm there. There is plenty of danger and opportunity at the State level, but the State will be toast if Federal problems and mega-Crime syndicates are not brought to justice soon," Lusk added.
Given that he is hoping to represent Florida, it is entirely possible that his desire to decapitate swamp creatures is quite literal.
Lusk also has opinions on hair products and the appropriate mode of transportation when one is attending a motorcycle race.
"I'm a Dapper Dan Man, I don't like Palm-Ade, and I'm NOT going to ride a bicycle to a motorcycle race. I consider Libertarians and Reformers to be conservative," Lusk affirmed.
I can find no other source of anything on earth being called "Palm-Ade" so I'm just going to assume he is talking about "pomade" here. Though Dapper Dan is pomade. Unless he's talking about the fashion designer from Harlem, who is a person and not a hair product. That would make about as much sense as anything else here.
Though short on formal political experience, Lusk believes that "knowledge and guts" will prove decisive.
"You'll see I have knowledge, once I flesh out Lusk2020.com. One reason why the devil hates Christians so much is because true believers have guts. The only thing to fear is God. One really has to risk their earthly life to make a change in today's political sphere," Lusk asserted.
That, he does mean literally. His website is not quite done, but so far does include a statement letting people know that if he dies by suicide or accident, it will be because Hillary Clinton actually murdered him.
Some of my issues have gotten people "Arkancided," so just for the record: I'm not suicidal or accident prone. Matt 3-29-2019
It also includes a not-yet-very-detailed list of issues he supports -- including separating the US military by gender and sexual orientations, ending alimony, gun rights for felons, a desire for "space superiority" and whatever on earth this is supposed to mean:
Some Like It Hot!
Dial-up money velocity (turning on the heat), slightly increase m3 (putting on a head of steam), add one cube of silver (for taste and stability).
To his credit, he also supports reparations (though he wants to pay for them by auctioning off Federal lands), supports the legalization of sex work and drugs, and opposes paying waitstaff, farmworkers, and childcare workers less than the minimum wage.
Given that Lawson is very popular in the state and hasn't faced a serious challenge since 2016, Lusk's chances of beating him are minimal. Which is really for the best. That being said, I do hope this isn't the last we hear of him, because at the very least I would like to hear him yell "DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!" at some point.
Anywho, this is now your OPEN THREAD. Enjoy!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse