QAnon Wackadoodle Won Oregon Republican Senate Primary While No One Was Looking
When Democrats run for the Senate in red states, they're usually outstanding left-of-center representatives. No matter what happens on election night, Jaime Harrison, Mike Espy, Jon Ossoff, and Steve Bullock are actually “very fine people." Unfortunately, Oregon Republicans aren't “sending their best." Last night, they overwhelmingly selected noted crackpot Jo Rae Perkins as their seemingly rum-soaked choice to challenge Democratic Sen. Jeff Merkley for the Senate seat he's held since 2009 and is now guaranteed to hold for another six years.
Perkins is a full-blown conspiracy theorist, and she doesn't just promote harmless conspiracies that most Oregonians believe, like the weather is tolerable. No, she's a QAnon-er. These idiots believe there are mole children living underneath Central Park and that Donald Trump would bother rescuing them, which is arguably less believable. They drink bleach and not just because Trump pitched it like a Coke-swilling Bill Cosby. QAnon-ers believe that a cabal of pervert Democrats and Hollywood elites (same difference) secretly run the whole world and eat babies. They receive updates posted in Confuso-vision on anonymous forums by “Q" — no, not the guy from Star Trek: The Next Generation. The mysterious “Q" is supposedly a high-ranking government official. QAnon-ers attempt to decipher the messages, presumably with a Little Orphan Annie decoder ring. That's how they stay up to date on Trump's plans to save humanity from the diabolical masterminds who don't want you drinking bleach.
None of this is real, but if it were, the men in black have masterfully ensured the only people who know the truth are complete morons. One of whom is now a single election away from the US Senate.
We all love Oregon and the nice folks, excluding me, who live there, so we'd like to think that Perkins kept all this QAnon bunk on the down low during her campaign. That way Oregon Republicans are only guilty of willingly voting for someone named “Jo Rae." Unfortunately, Perkins won't shut up about QAnon and its battle against the Deep State (that's a requirement for membership).
Jared Holt interviewed Perkins for Right Wing Watch in January, and Perkins didn't even try to pretend she was normal, like your ex did on your first couple of dates. She claimed it was a bold move to embrace a banana-pants conspiracy theory.
PERKINS: It's a very, highly calculated risk that I'm taking. Most people play it a lot safer than I do. It's either pure genius or pure insanity. It's one of the two. The voters are going to have to be the ones that make that decision.
Well done, voters! Posting conspiracy gobbledegook on social media could cost you a job at Wendy's but it's good enough for a Republican Senate nomination. It's unclear at this point if the Republican National Committee will support her candidacy, but she's one of dozens of QAnon followers running for office this year. Don't let them tell you that the Squad's outside the mainstream.
Right Wing Watch
When discussing her political career, Perkins refers to herself as “pre-Q" and “post-Q," which is kinda cult-like. On New Year's Eve, Twitter user “Chase the Truth" suggested that “even if Q isn't real it's still been good for people to start questioning and looking at the world from a different pov. Yes it's ugly and horrid, but the truth must be exposed for humanity to move forward and into peace. Q is waking a lot of people." (Jesus, this is like the people who took The Matrix too seriously.)
Perkins — who I repeat is Oregon's official Republican nominee for the Senate — responded, "Agreed - For too long, many of us suspected something was askew — Now we know it is unfortunately true. We have 3 to thank, God, President Trump and Q!"
Seriously, she's going to start telling people to follow the White Rabbit.
During her victory speech last night, because — HOLY SHIT! — she won an actual Senate primary, Perkins declared, "We're in this together. It's all for one, so let's make it happen. As all of us Q people like to say: 'Where we go one, we go all.'"
Let's wish Sen. Merkley continued health. Oregon's counting on him.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).