There is SHOCKING news from the campaign trail today as the John McCain Presidency has angrily lashed out at Barack Obama for being black. "My opponent is half-colored," McCain said today from one of his mansions, "And worse, he claims the coloreds have not been president before. This is shameful, shame on this uppity colored and his race-baiting. Go back to Africa, Osama Spears." UPDATE: You're all pussies. We've replaced the picture (which showed a lynching, which was a legal activity in the American South when John McCain was a young man) with a small mirror. [ALLPOLITICALSITESON EARTH]