This weekend, an extremely twerpy Columbia University student named Julian von Abele (of course) went viral after video emerged of him screaming his head off about how great white people are to a bunch of students of color. It was ... well, it was the kind of thing that happens now, every month or so these days! (It happened before "these days" too, we just didn't have video phones and Twitter in "those days.")

As Aala Nasir, the woman who initially posted the video, said, it was disappointing, but not surprising.

"I love myself and I love white people. Fuck yeah white people. Fuck yeah white men. We're white men, we did everything. I don't hate other people, I just love white men, I love white men," he screamed until he was hoarse, as he twirled and jumped and cavorted in the moonlight.

Now, he's definitely too young to remember the heady days of the talk show boom, but someone should probably tell him that this is the exact thing actual KKK members and skinheads would tell Phil Donahue, Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer, Sally Jessy Raphael, Maury Povich and Montel Williams every time they did a show about racists. It is also the same thing Tom Metzger -- head of the White Aryan Resistance and a man once dubbed "the most dangerous racist in America" -- told Louis Theroux in Theroux's documentary about Nazis. It's rhetorical bullshit that started with David Duke when he took over the KKK and decided to try and improve the hate group's public image, and it's been adopted by racists who think it's clever ever since then, as well as the (somehow) even dumber people who actually bought it. Like this guy.

But that's his story and he's sticking to it.

On a Twitter account he started this week, Von Abele has been going on offense, trying to explain that he's not racist and is in fact a very kind person, and that people who like him will tell you so.

He just thinks "Western Civilization is the greatest thing that ever happened to this species," and is sick of everyone attacking it all the time!

This is, of course, not a thing. No one is going around attacking "the West." People are, however, attacking people who use "the West" as a synonym for "white people" (which is not even accurate) and seem to believe that talking about racism or white privilege or acknowledging bad things that happened in history is an "attack" on white people and "the West." This is ridiculous. Nuance exists! For instance, saying "Germany was wrong to do the Holocaust" doesn't mean "Fuck Beethoven and Bach, because they were also German!" Those things have nothing to do with one another. We can like talented composers and think genocide is bad at the same time. The human mind is amazing that way.

But Von Abele is not racist, you know, he is just tired of the "constant apologies for the actions of Western civilization."

I am willing to bet literally no one has ever asked Julian von Abele to apologize for the actions of Western civilization. Similarly, no one has ever demanded that I (a verified Italian) apologize for Mussolini. If I were to take criticism of Mussolini, an obviously bad guy, as a personal attack against me and all other Italian people and our delicious food, that would be weird. Good things are good and bad things are bad. It is not that hard. Unless you are Julian von Abele.

The ultimate in white male privilege is demanding that people cease all criticism of things white men have done because it doesn't make you feel good.

The reason Von Abele started doing Twitter, he claims, is because the mass media is lying about him and he just wants his true views out there. Thus, he took a moment to showcase all the other ways in which he is definitely the worst.

He's the dude who wants to "debate" you (who coincidentally cannot spell the word "publicly"):

He is a conspiracy theorist:

He's already claiming that he's being shadowbanned by Twitter, because of course he is:

And he's so incredibly entitled that he cannot believe that the Associated Press would not print his full statement in its entirety, as if that is a thing the Associated Press does for anyone, least of all some random racist dipwad from Columbia:

Von Abele claims in his statement that his words and actions in the video were taken out of context, and he was merely explaining to the group of non-white students that "white privilege" doesn't actually exist. They've all been imagining it this whole time! It sure is nice of this random white dude to help them see that.

Von Abele was very upset because several of the students were "accusing Trump supporters of encouraging sexual violence" (read: they probably said something about how voting for a man who openly bragged about sexually assaulting women encourages sexual violence), and he, Julian von Abele, told them that was a lie from the pit of hell! And then those mean students, according to Von Abele, told him he was not even allowed to have an opinion on this matter because he is a white man and therefore responsible for every bad thing every white man ever did. He claims they said he "had no right to share [his] opinion on women because [he] is a white man."

That is surely how that conversation went, in real life!

Either that, or someone explained to him that -- as someone who is not likely to be affected by the consequences of Trump's election -- he doesn't have the right to tell those who are affected how to feel about things. They may have even suggested that his personal identity and the privilege that goes along with that identity might make it hard for him to see how those things affected them. They may have been tired of men who like to come along and act as if their opinions on women should be considered the final word on such matters, which they often do.

The best part of the whole statement is this:

"I would like to have my views be fairly considered in the public discourse, and not dismissed solely to my race and gender"

Oh, for real?

That is some entitlement right there. Does Julian von Abele not realize many people who are not white men were raised hearing, "You have to work twice as hard to be considered half as good?" Because they were. Has it not occurred to him that people have already heard "his views" approximately 25 million times before and have already come to the conclusion that those views are bad and stupid? It seems like he has not.

Now, probably every human being on earth who is not a white dude has had their opinions dismissed because of their race or gender. Not only do white dudes like to presume they have the "neutral" opinion and that everyone else's opinions are clouded by our various agendas and emotions, but they also often like to be the arbiters of who can be taken "seriously." I actually cannot fathom saying the words "I would like to have my views be fairly considered," because I actually cannot rustle up that much ego or presumptuousness in my whole person. To me, not being dismissed is a merely a pleasant surprise.

The funny thing is, this kid probably could have managed to live past this -- had he not taken to Twitter to keep digging himself into that hole, had he not stopped by Infowars of all places to plead his case. People might have even forgotten about him entirely after a while. But now he is well on his way to being completely unemployable as anything other than some douche who rants on YouTube about how super great he thinks white men are.

And I can't say he doesn't deserve it.

[Julian von Abele Twitter]

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