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God has different plans for that seat, motherfucker.


Joe Arpaio, the 85-year-old racist, xenophobic piece of trash criminal former Maricopa County sheriff, has announced he will run for the Senate seat being vacated by Jeff Flake, now that Donald Trump has pardoned his old balls and saved him from prison. "America's Toughest Sheriff," as Arpaio used to call himself, had been convicted of criminal contempt of court for ignoring a judge's order to stop racially profiling Latinos, but now he is free, because Donald Trump is a white supremacist who thinks Arpaio was convicted for merely doing his job (or, as Fox News suggested, for loving Trump TOO MUCH). So HOORAY, Arpaio can run for the Senate and get his ass handed to him just like we handed it to Roy Moore!

As Talking Points Memo notes, Arpaio is shuffleboarding himself into a GOP primary that already includes crazy-ass Kelli Ward, empress of chemtrails, and will likely include the more moderate Rep. Martha McSally, who is still "thinking about" whether or not she is going to run. (Of course, if John McCain resigns or goes to be with the Lord, Ward might try to skedaddle over to a race for his Senate seat, because if there is one thing Ward is sure of, it's that Arizona NEEDS HER in the Senate. You know, to stop the chemtrails.)

Now, you might be thinking, isn't 85 a bit OLD AS FUCK to be starting a new life in Washington DC as a brand new senator? Arpaio has already responded to your dumb thoughts, back in August, saying that you are being SEXIST TO PEOPLE WHO EAT THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL FOR DINNER to think a whippersnapper like him can't do Senate good.

So what's gon' happen here? Will Joe Arpaio and Kelli Ward fight to the death for the most braindead of Arizona GOP voters and thus create an opening for Martha McSally, assuming she runs? We doubt it, as we are talking about a GOP primary here. Instead, they will probably fight to the death to see which one of them can be the craziest, most racist piece of shit, and that person will win, bigly.

AND THEN WE WILL KICK THAT PERSON'S ASS.

Tell us, TPM!

The seat is a top pickup opportunity for Democrats, who have rallied around Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ). The state is fast trending Democratic due to explosive growth in the Hispanic community, and Trump won it by just four percentage points last fall. Arpaio also lost reelection on the same day in the state’s most populous county, and Republicans worry that Arpaio could cost them the seat — and possibly control of the Senate, after their recent debacle in Alabama with former Judge Roy Moore as their nominee narrowed their edge in the Senate to 51-49.

There is no time like the present to get to know Kyrsten Sinema, and also donate to her campaign! So why don't you go give her some money, and if you are in Arizona, sign up to get involved? Here's her Senate announcement video:

The 2018 midterms have all the potential in the world to be an absolute bloodbath for the GOP, but only if we take nothing for granted and kick their asses all the way to the polls in November. So let's DO THIS.

So FUCK YOU JOE and let's MAKE SENATE MORE KYRSTEN!

(Get it? Because Kirsten Gillibrand is already there. Pfffffft, you don't get it.)

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Talking Points Memo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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