Rand Paul Coordinator Apologizing For Stomping Now, Is Summonsed

Rand Paul Coordinator Apologizing For Stomping Now, Is Summonsed

That guy whosmashed some MoveOn lady's head with his foot is "sorry that it came to that" and says he apologizes "if it appeared overly forceful." Oh yes, it may have appeared that way, but this is actually the way Kentucky gentlemen greet members of the opposite sex. It's a cultural thing you don't understand, but this man was forced to get that girl on the ground and stomp on her, out of custom and out of his undying love for America's most important uncertified ophthalmologist. "I was concerned about Rand's safety," Tim Profitt said. Awwww! Nobody puts Rand in a corner! How sweet! Also, it turns out this guy is actually Rand's "Bourbon County coordinator" and now "is currently being served with a criminal summons ordering him to appear before a Fayette County District Court Judge." So the two of them can chuckle about this over mint juleps.

"A friend of mine went up to three policeman before Rand got there, and told them about the girl who was standing there with that wig on and that she was getting ready to do something," Profitt said. "The policemen looked at him and said that's not our job."

No, it's not generally a job of police officers to stomp on people's heads because they're annoying. Or anyone's job, for that matter, except for people on reality teevee shows.

Paul's campaign called the altercation "incredibly unfortunate" and expressed relief that the woman was not injured.

That's nice of them. Those kind words from Rand Paul's other workers will heal whatever head wounds she has. [AP/Barefoot and Progressive]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc