Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich


On "Fox News Sunday" (on Fox News, Sunday), Rand Paul offered some inspiring thoughts on how the economy really works, based purely on the theories of Ayn Rand plus multiple massive bong hits: Tax rates have nothing to do with who gets wealthy in America. Rather, wealth is simply an indicator of how good you are at doing capitalism to other people. Paul rejected the idea that economic policy has any effect on who wins and who loses in the economy, which will certainly come as news to the army of corporate lobbyists who've been writing our great nation's tax code since the Reagan era.

"The thing is, income inequality is due to some people working harder and selling more things," Paul told host Chris Wallace on "Fox News Sunday." "If people voluntarily buy more of your stuff, you'll have more money."

The Kentucky senator then went on to explain that the race always goes to the swift, the battle to the strong, bread to the wise, favor to men of skill, and riches to men of understanding -- and then he pointed both thumbs to his chest and mouthed "this guy."

Paul came out with his flabbergasting lie as part of his pitch for a flat tax rate, which the Tax Foundation notes would increase the after-tax income of households earning more than $1 million per year by a full 13 percent, and would add 3 percent to the incomes of households making between $50,000 and $75,000. Oh, and as a bonus, it would slash government revenues by $3 trillion over 10 years, which wouldn't be a problem because everyone would become rich if they worked real hard and voluntarily bought each other's stuff, so we wouldn't need to pay for welfare or disability or other wasteful things like that, probably. And the national debt would already have been eliminated by defunding Planned Parenthood.

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In an attempt to take Paul seriously, host Chris Wallace asked, "Doesn't your plan massively increase income inequality?" Paul, undaunted, explained how economies work in his grand libertarian dreamworld:

"It's a fallacious notion to say, 'Oh, rich people get more money back in a tax cut,'" Paul responded. "If you cut taxes 10 percent, 10 percent of a million is more than 10 percent of a thousand dollars. So, obviously, people who pay more in taxes will get more back."

"We all end up working for people who are more successful than us," Paul went on, "and that's a good thing, that more money will be back in the economy."

And everyone will eventually benefit, especially once we get rid of burdensome regulations that keep people from working as long as they want to for as little pay as they can sell their labor for. And we won't need government, since people can simply rate their Uber drivers and the Free Market will work its magic.

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Asked for comment, the ghost of Horatio Alger said he found Paul's economic ideas "a bit of a stretch."


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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