Rand Paul Wants To Build $1-Billion Electric Underground Fence To Keep Out Mexican Gophers
Senate candidate Rand Paul has a lot of new, interesting ideas. On the immigration issue, your average Republican would just mumble something about building a fence at the Mexican border. Not Rand Paul! Paulhas come up with his own fence idea. Instead of building one above ground, it will be underground, where the Mexicans won't expect it. "Oh look, here's the border, and there's no fence up. Must be a trick! I bet there's an invisible fence here. I shall burrow under the ground so I can get into America and steal its public schools. Wait, what's this?" ZAP! Rand Paul outwitted you, Mexican.
Rand Paul Underground Electric Fence FAQ
Q: Wait, what if the Mexican decides to cross the border on or above the ground?
A: They won't. See above. Rand Paul is two steps ahead of Mexican logic.
Q: At some point, won't the Mexicans figure out they can't get across by burrowing under the border?
Q: But surely they will find their electrocuted countrymen under the ground and decide not to go that route, right?
A: No, they will see them and decide that there must be an Aztec curse on the border and that it can't be crossed at all.
Q: What do immigration experts and border agents think of this plan?
A: The National Association of Immigration Experts and Border Agents endorses this proposal.
Q: Who's the National Association of Immigration Experts and Border Agents?
A: Rand Paul, his wife, his three children, and two glasses of Pepsi.