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Read This Before You Eat Any Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Tabs, Fri., Feb. 7, 2020

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Oh neat, it was 4chan clogged Iowa's caucus results reporting hotline.

DNC head Tom Perez wants a RECOUNT. Meanwhile, don't go on fucking twitter, shit's toxxxxxxicccccc.


And while we're on Iowa, here is our dear Lawyers Guns and Money on a little something we like to call WHY DID THE DNC RIG IOWA FOR BERNIE WAIT THAT'S NOT RIGHT. Also, it eviscerates The Outline, for whom we simply do not care.

Trump's impeachment acquittal leaves potential land mines for the White House -- LA Times

Fox News memo warned about how untrustworthy and disinformationy Rudy Giuliani, John Solomon, and Joe DiGenova are. And everybody heeded it really a lot. (Daily Beast)

The House impeachment managers say nice words about Mitt Romney, who deserves some nice words (NO, NOT ALL OF THEM, SOME), and not much for the others. (Washington Post)

Here is something stupid! Op-Ed: Sorry, liberals, you can't claim Mitt now when you hated him then. Really, some dude writing at the Los Angeles Times? Because I'm pretty sure "civility" means you should tell someone when you think they did something right, instead of shitting on them anyway. Anyway, fuck you.

Connie Schultz was at the SOTU. She did not care for it!

Hunter Biden gonna be chief of staff to the US handbag designer cum Ambassador to South Africa. Oh did I say Hunter Biden? I meant the handbag designer's son, now that she's pushed out all the diplomats. (Foreign Policy)

Treasury Department sent Hunter Biden info to Congress. A guy from CREW has a good point.

Here's that old tab! REPEAT THIS TAB IS OLD DON'T SHARE IT LIKE IT IS A NEW TAB.

Greg Gianforte, Montana's sole congressman whom you may remember from such hits as "beating a reporter to the ground for asking him a question," refuses to say jack shit about the MT state rep whose special version of Constitution says we can shoot and kill socialists. (Billings Gazette)

McKay Coppins went on Facebook and liked a Trump page. What happened next will leave you ... pretty discombobulated really. Or him at least. (The Atlantic)

ProPublica takes a gander at child booster seats. Um Shy, we have to get a different car seat.

The oceans are speeding up. (WaPo)

Robyn is correct. Terrible People Don't 'Deserve' Cancer. Now GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY. -- Dame

OLD TAB. Female doctors are better for olds. Probably write them thank you notes or some bullshit. Okay, or "listen to them."

SEATTLERS! Buy tickets to see SER's plaaaaaay! Perhaps ... perhaps ... someone will join you.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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