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Rejected Pun Headlines: 'Sorry Charlie,' 'Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,' Etc.

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  • What, me unethical?Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don't usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say "Yeah, you caught me" and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, though! He's positive giddy at the prospect: "At long last, sunshine has pierced through this cloud that has been over my head for more than two years." The last guy who had a trial like this in the house was Jim Traficant, and you remember how awesome that was. [WP]
  • The Obama administration wants to cut the defense budget. Maybe they are a bunch of liberals after all? [NYT]
  • Meanwhile, the administration's immigration policies seek to allow artists and other anarchist subversives into the country even more quickly. [NYT]
  • Ever heard of the Spratly and Paracel islands? You will, once World War III starts over them. [Bloomberg]
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Former Colorado state legislator and internet-elevangelist Gordon Klingenschmitt (his name is my name too) knows why we hate Trump. Is it because he is a terrible person and a terrible President? Is it because he says horrible things all of the time? Is it because he had the motherfucking gall to refer to Aretha Franklin as someone who worked for him?

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Trump supporters -- you can't take them anywhere. One idiot Trump supporter in Sacramento, California proved that at a recent Social Distortion show, where he thought it might be a good idea to be a dick to lead singer Mike Ness, the most perfect human man in all of existence. It did not go well.

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