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WHOA HEY, maybe Rod Rosenstein can put his family pictures back on his desk and stop collecting all his Tupperwares from the kitchen at the DoJ, because Senator Susan Collins, who always stands firm and never ever gets rolled by Mitch McConnell or Donald Tump, has drawn a RED LINE in the sand and said that if Trump moves to fire Rosenstein, that would be very bad, and she will surely release a statement registering her mild displeasure:


Problematic!

The day before, she was "concerned":

Earlier this year, Collins said unequivocally that the Senate will refuse ("refuse") to confirm a Rosenstein replacement who wouldn't commit to protecting the Mueller investigation, which is just great, except for how the DoJ has said this week that in Rosenstein's absence, the Mueller investigation will be overseen by current Solicitor General Noel Francisco (if he doesn't recuse himself because his old law firm Jones Day represents the Trump campaign), who can be trusted to protect that investigation about as far as you can throw him. Then there's these other dicks Five Dollar Feminist wagged in your face today. But thanks for drawing that RED LINE back in April, Susan Collins!

Other Susan Collins red lines that are currently working out so well for America include that time Mitch McConnell promised her a bunch of stuff in exchange for voting for the GOP's #TaxScam bill, stuff she subsequently did not get, but subsequently did start saying everybody was being "sexist" for pointing out that she had yet again caved to Mitch McConnell's obvious lies.

Also right now, Collins seems to really want to vote for Brett Kavanaugh, despite all the accusations of sexual assault and the near certainty that any idiot can see that he wants to overturn Roe. (But he said in her office that it's "settled law," and honestly Susan Collins doesn't care that much, so let's just smush out that pesky red line she swears to God she has for stuff.)

Indeed, she is "very close" to making a decision about that, but she's still Not Sure, OK? Besides have you heard the Alex Jones conspiracy theories about how Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's yearbook proves definitively that she is the "captain of the sluts" who "appears to be a hussy" and just wants all the Brett Kavanaughs to climb all over each other, even though all the Brett Kavanaughs are virgins? Well, Susan Collins has heard rumors about Kavanaugh's yearbooks and also has heard there are "issues with Christine Ford's yearbook as well." That's right, kids. Susan Collins has heard rumors that are Alex Jones rumors!

And she's got these red lines! And a BIIIIIIIIIIG ERASER, for when those red lines are no longer necessary because for real, Susan Collins ain't give a fuck.

As for Rod Rosenstein's predicament and the safety of the Robert Mueller investigation, the GOP has a bill it could put on the floor right now to protect Mueller, but as it's always been, the GOP will put that bill on the floor the second it's too late. Hell, it might already be too late!

But don't worry, because red lines! Susan Collin's got red lines!

We're all fucked.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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