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NewsAugust 27, 2009 11:07 AM
Remaining Living Kennedys Just Suck
Remember when all the Kennedys were handsome and noble and square of jaw? They still have the jaw thing but everything else about them is crappy and disappointing. Join us as we walk through the Rogue's Gallery of Remaining Kennedys and reflect on the Death of Camelot, etc.
New York Post DC bureau chief Charles Hurt observes that each living Kennedy sucks in his or her own unique way:
- Caroline: A failure of a would-be politician whose overreliance on a certain verbal crutch completely ruined her hopes of ever becoming a senator, which should be about as easy for a Kennedy as passing 7th grade is for the rest of us.
- Robert Jr.: Insane conspiracy theorist who writes nutty articles about Ohio and has a voice like a Hepburn.
- Joe II: Who even knows who this guy is?
- Patrick: An affable Ambien fiend whose leisure activities used to include driving his car into jersey barriers outside the Capitol.
Basically, there are no good Kennedys left except for this guy, Massachusetts State Senator Robert O'Leary, who isn't even an official Kennedy, but COME ON.
KENNEDY CLAN IS DOWN TO ITS DREGS [New York Post]