Remember That Time Rudy Giuliani Told The Truth? Nope, Us Neither.

The defining truth of life in the Trump era is that THERE IS NO TRUTH. If Donald Trump draws dicks on a map, then, dammit, that storm was going to hit Alabama. If one of his asscheeks sends a random tweet, then by God "Covfefe" is a real word, and anyone who doesn't get it is just an idiot. If the White House says Trump is getting taller and thinner and healthier every day, then your eyes must be deceiving you when they say he looks like a hamburger-scarfing heart-attack waiting to happen. And if Donald Trump says that the rancid sack of corruption/former chief prosecutor of Ukraine, the one pushed out by a coalition of the United States, European Union, and International Monetary Fund, was actually an upright, honest man, then it must be true.

That's the storyline Rudy Giuliani has been pushing for over a year now. Viktor Shokin wasn't comically corrupt, he was maligned by Joe Biden to protect his son. Shokin's replacement Yuriy Lutsenko was also an upright man, smeared by evil leftists and former Ukrainian Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, not someone who was desperately trying to save his position as prosecutor after his boss Petro Poroshenko lost an election and Volodymyr Zelenskyy swept in on an anti-corruption platform promising to clean house at the prosecutor's office. Andriy Telizhenko, whose name came up over and over in the impeachment hearings and was the source for a January 2017 Politico piece accusing the DNC of soliciting (true) dirt from the Ukrainian embassy, isn't a shameless, self-promoting scammer. He's a wholly credible source who told Ken Vogel (OF COURSE!) the truth and nothing but.

The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.

Rudy's main project has been to rehabilitate Shokin, Lutsenko, and Telizhenko so they can serve as credible witnesses against Joe Biden. That's why he had to get rid of Marie Yovanovitch, because she blocked a visa for Shokin to come to the US, and was part of the State Department consensus that Lutsenko was a corrupt liar.

So Giuliani leveraged his connection to the president to plaster the State Department with bullshit about Yovanovitch and Biden, bullshit which the White House and State Department have thus far refused to turn over to Congress. But the FOIA warriors at American Oversight have begun to shake some of it loose, including evidence of multiple phone calls in March between Giuliani and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo after Donald Trump's personal assistant reached out to Pompeo's office to make a love connection for the two sycophants. (YOU LOVE DONALD'S ORANGE ASS, I LOVE DONALD'S ASS, LET'S WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS INTO EACH OTHER'S EAR HAIRS!)

George Kent testified that in January of 2019 Giuliani approached the American embassy in Ukraine about getting a visa for Shokin to come to the US. When that didn't work, he appealed to both the State Department and the White House, to no avail. So instead, he took Shokin's "deposition" via Skype, with Lev Parnas acting as translator and dutifully recording all Shokin's demonstrably false allegations against Joe Biden.

Look, here's Lutsenko testifying that the "black ledger" documenting payments to Paul Manafort was a forgery designed to harm Trump's electoral chances.

Case closed then!

And here's the envelope that Rudy used to deliver his little dossier of bullshit affidavits and John Solomon articles to the State Department. It's not so much a forgery as it is an art project at the adult daycare center.

And while Rudy was successful in getting the State Department to fire Yovanovitch for no reason whatsoever, over the objections of five former Ukraine ambassadors and the Majority Leader and chair of the House Foreign Affairs Committee -- all of whom wrote to Secretary Pompeo outraged to see the smear of Yovanovitch -- he still failed to shake that visa loose for Shokin.

So now he's taking his fight public. Here's a letter to Lindsey Graham, the whore of Babylon, exhorting him to get visas for .... someone?

There are at least three (3) witnesses who have direct (non-hearsay) evidence of Democrat criminal conspiracy with Ukrainians to prevent Donald J. Trump from being President, with the alternative to remove him from office based on contrived charges. This has been most recently established by Mark Zaid, the discredited anonymous informant's lawyer, who called for a coup ten days after the January 2017 inauguration. These witnesses have oral, documentary, and recorded evidence of the Biden Family's involvement in bribery, money laundering, Hobbs Act extortion, and other possible crimes. They do not seek anonymity, like the disappearing informant. They desire a visa and it will not be granted by Ambassador Bill Taylor's embassy in Kiev. The Ambassador, apparently, has been too busy starring on mid-day soap operas, providing us with inadmissible second and third-hand information, including guesses and surmises. Some of which I personally know is false because his information about me is largely untrue. This is understandable, however, as he has never met me or spoken to me about my legal work, defending my client against false charges. Frankly, he seems to not care or possibly not understand.

Okay, Poppy. Let us save you the trouble: HE NEVER ACTUALLY SAYS WHO THOSE THREE WITNESSES ARE. Probably because he already tried to get Pompeo and Mulvaney to punch Shokin's ticket back in January, and they told him to get lost. But Lindsey Graham has lost his goddamn mind, so ... it just might work. The GOP is pretty committed to this project of pretending that ALL TRUMP'S LIES ARE SCIENCE FACT TRUTH AS REVEALED BY JESUS ON MOUNT SINAI, so who even knows!

[American Oversight First Batch Giuliani FOIA / Giuliani Letter]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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