Remembering Our Fallen Week: ♫ I'm a Believer! ♫
- Actual paranoid schizophrenic candidate Ernest J. Pagels spoke with your Wonkette between praise and worship sessions for his anti-pornography god, Urine.
- Bubblegum-Pop fans “The Taliban” love the Monkees so much they recruited all of them, for terrorism.
- With the FCC’s indecency regulations SHUT THE FUCK DOWN by some court somewhere, Wonkette’s fucking Weeping Eagle Awards were finally able to be fucking broadcast.
- David Vitter was born again! Not just because he is an adult baby, but also as a birther! As a recent convert to Birtherism, he believes the courts should take care of this birth-certificate mess, so he can get back to spending time pooping with his mother (prostitute).
- Sarah Palin’s secret sin-cushions were finally revealed in this Da Vinci code-style coded message.
- Since Hollywood is going bananas greenlighting gross movies, Wonkette is seeking to option our own disgusting Ayn Rand property. Sarah Palin will play herself, for fame, but who will play Ayn Rand? Tyler Perry, obviously.
- Plagiarist hack Michele Bachman ripped off an idea, Biden-style, from the great Rand Paul. She also spoke out on the very “hot-button” issue of slavery, which she has finally settled for good.