Remembering Our Fallen Week: Nothing a Little Bribe Can't Solve
Barack Obama welcomed the cast of Glee to worship with him and Michelle at his dog-cult shrine and White House.
Dick Cheney managed to bribe his way out of being shipped to Nigeria like a lowly Wikileaker.
Wikileaks founder and Helen Mirren stunt-double Julian Assange was finally released on bail, so he can now get to playing the new World of Warcraft expansion with all his Internet nerd friends.
Stem cells maybe-cured a guy with HIV, which means that murdered babies are now being used to cure God's gay plague. Justice!
John Boehner got all histrionic, like an actual woman, at all those people who make the obvious observation that he has the complexion of a leathery creamsicle.
Mike Bloomberg and his NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT friends got together for a big old circle-jerk and copyright infringement party.
Your Wonkette's War on Christmas Gift Guide brought a cup of cheer to all the sad hoarders looking for more junk to fill their double-wide trailer.