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Rep. Ayanna Pressley, Massachusetts's first black congresswoman, read Donald Trump his ass on the House floor Tuesday, and it was glorious. She knew Trump was set to go on TV later and verbally kick us in the groin with his racist lies. My sister wasn't having it.

I rise today in opposition to the occupant of the White House.

Y'all see she didn't call him "the president"? No, there'll be no referring to Putin's stooge as "president" while Rep. Pressley's got the mic and her hair is on point.

Mr. Trump, you took an oath just as I did five days ago, to protect and defend the Constitution and the American people. Sir, you dishonor that oath. You devalue the life of the immigrant, the worker, and the survivor. I see right through you and so do the American people.

Goddamn! This is Angela Bassett setting fire to her trifling husband's clothes and sweet ride in Waiting to Exhale. This is Denzel Washington as Malcolm X serving notice in the opening credits to the Spike Lee film. This is concentrated bad assery. Now sit down with the hot beverage of your liking and listen to the rest of Pressley's speech.


This has nothing to do with border security. Your shutdown, another Trump generated crisis, has brought a tsunami of hurt.

So, I rise today to lift the voices of the unheard. I rise today on behalf of the families concerned about feeding their children because their WIC benefits will run dry.

I rise today in solidarity with the thousands of workers with calloused hands and broken spirits working for no pay.

I rise today in support of the survivor fleeing violent hands, seeking safety, only to find the shelter door locked because of your shutdown.

I rise today in support of the American people, who believe in the promise of this nation and ask for honest pay for an honest day's work.

Today I rise as one and I stand as thousands. Thank you and I yield back.

Wakanda Forever! Oh, sorry ... where was I? Pressley didn't drop any "motherfuckers," and she dragged Trump on the facts in roughly a minute. And beyond anything else, her speech was beautifully written; it wouldn't feel out of place in a collection of Langston Hughes poems. Still, fellow Democrat G.K. Butterfield from North Carolina, Tuesday's scrub speaker, chastised Pressley after her speech for "engaging in personalities toward the president." (UPDATE: As noted in the comments, House rules consider criticism of the president's "personal" motivations out of bounds. Butterfield is a black man who isn't on the Supreme Court so he probably likes Trump as much as Pressley does. He's just following regular order. The point is that my girl's words were poetry.) Still, normal rules of House etiquette might've made sense back when elected officials just disagreed on where to park their slaves at the Capitol, but we're past that point now. That's because this new Congress is decidedly not your average middle-class white family that's agreed not to discuss politics and risk ruining their holiday gathering. Pressley's speech is the tamer version of what black families say at the table each Sunday before passing the greens.

Pressley doesn't have a "personality difference" with the White House "occupant." She is laying out the case against a clear and present threat to America. See, Trump doesn't remind Pressley of her "Uncle Donnie," who used to make her nose "disappear" and take her out for ice cream while complaining about the "coloreds" ruining the neighborhood. No, Trump personifies every dragon she had to slay to get where is she now. She is not conflicted about who her enemy is. She doesn't "struggle" with "respecting" the office Trump stole no matter how badly he mistreats people. She knows Trump is racist garbage in a poorly tailored suit.

She isn't the only one, either. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez blindsided Anderson Cooper on "60 Minutes" Sunday with the stunning revelation that Trump's a bigot. She's rejected the charges of name-calling and continued "fact-calling." "Trump's a racist" is her "Purple Rain." You're gonna hear it wherever she goes now.

Women of color now account for 42 percent of all women in Congress, which is reflective of the general population. Women of color have no interest in tolerating or enabling Trump. They will "rise as one and stand as thousands" and make what we hope are the final two years (or months!) of Trump's administration a time of true reckoning. Soon, he's going to wish all they did was just call him a "motherfucker."

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins runs from March through May at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo.

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CLEAR YOUR CALENDARS FOR FEBRUARY 7! And then fill them back up with whatever the fuck you want, because Michael Cohen has announced through his lawyers that he is too scared to testify before an open session of Congress that day, citing threats to his family from Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani.

Wonkette has no reason to believe Cohen isn't being serious here, and NBC News reports Cohen's wife and father-in-law are particularly concerned about their safety if the man who used to call his boss MIS-TURRRR TWUMP goes to Congress and tells the truth this time. Still, we must pause to note that this is the same guy who said this to NPR reporter Tim Mak, back when Mak was at The Daily Beast:

"I will make sure that you and I meet one day while we're in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still don't have," Cohen told Mak [...] "And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know."

"So I'm warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I'm going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"

It's not so fun when the shoe is on the other foot, IS IT, MICHAEL?

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Did Nancy Pelosi do something to give Donald Trump the mistaken impression he has leverage here? We don't remember her doing anything like that!

Trump sent Pelosi a letter this morning to say that, despite how she told him to stay the fuck out of her House because of his government shutdown, he would still be coming to the House on January 29 to deliver his State of the Union address. And for some weird-ass reason, Trump and his advisers in the White House actually thought she would back down. It's both hilarious and alarming that Trump and his people are that stupid, isn't it?

Anyway, Pelosi took the dare. She took the dare. Was there anybody besides those dumb fucking idiots in the White House who thought she wouldn't take the dare?

Pelosi sent a letter right back to Trump to kindly explain to him that no means "go fuck yourself," and that if he'd like her to stick her foot further up his ass and kick it around a bunch, he's welcome to test her some more:

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