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Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books

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Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it's the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking "Reagan! Reagan!" when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of America's Political Elite, circa 2011.

They are absolute idiots, as common and empty as any small-town city councilmembers wondering aloud if they need to follow federal law -- inept yokels as smugly vapid as Sarah Palin herself, yet with none of her trailer-park basic-cable charms. If the hotel shuttle carrying these morons ran off the Key Bridge tonight, America would gain a collective IQ point.

Extra remedial points for world champion fool Michael Steele, who blurts out War and Peace as his alleged favorite book, after repeated prompting, and then immediately begins jabbering the famous-even-to-non-readers opening of Tale of Two Cities. Gah. At the end of this embarrassment, reduced-to-CSPAN host Tucker Carlson is actually silent for a moment, and deep within the dead pools of his eyes you can almost see a flicker of the intelligent writer he strangled so he could be a cable news asshole for a few years, before being fired by both CNN and MSNBC. [The Stranger/CSPAN/Buzzfeed via Wonkette operative "Katie D."]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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