The House investigation into the January 6 Capitol attack began Tuesday, and while hardly an Agatha Christie thriller where the villain remains a mystery until the very end, it was certainly compelling viewing — at least if you're a reasonably engaged citizen and not a GOP congressman who just can't be bothered with the grisly details of the Trump-inspired insurrection.

CNN congressional correspondent Ryan Nobles said the most common response from Republicans when asked their thoughts about Tuesday's hearing was variations of "I was too busy to watch." According to CNN's Melanie Zanona, House Minority Leader and Trump step stool Kevin McCarthy couldn't watch the hearings because he was “stuck in back-to-back meetings." (He must've filled his schedule in the week after pulling his selected GOP members from the committee.)

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters Tuesday that he didn't watch the hearings because he “was busy doing work," as if it's that time consuming to block any legislation that might help Americans. McConnell didn't have time for casual TV viewing. He proudly declared, “I serve in the Senate!" We wouldn't describe what McConnell does as “service" of any kind, but his office is located inside the crime scene. He's only in one piece now because the Capitol Police held off Trump's Frankenstein army. At the very least, he could've sent the cops a pot of jam.


This pathetic, passive aggressive display is the insurrection version of "I didn't see that tweet." C'mon, Republicans wanted congressional hearings over so-called "cancel culture," but they can't listen to police officers testify about how a violent MAGA mob tried to kill them?

Twitter

Rep. Jim Jordan, Ohio's shame, was still stinging from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rejecting him from the 1/6 committee because she wasn't interested in a carnival act. He subtweeted the hearing, suggesting that now suddenly Democrats care about violence against the police. This is the tired rightwing argument that somehow a violent insurrection, which led to a cop's death, is the same as someone accidentally stepping on a cop's toe at a Black Lives Matter rally. (That toe cruncher is probably still in jail pending trial.)

Jordan also berated Pelosi for even having hearings when America is not yet a utopian paradise.

Crime's skyrocketing. The border's in crisis. The price of everything is up.

“God knows where we're heading." Jordan's doing his best Marvin Gaye here.

What's Speaker Pelosi doing about it? Nothing. She's too busy pushing her partisan January 6th charade.

Jordan also asked what the difference was between a Democrat and a Never Trumper. This was presumably a dig at Reps. Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney, whose voting records speak for themselves. The current GOP doesn't bother hiding that it's nothing more than an autocratic cult of personality. Members of organized crime families demonstrate more honor.

The GOP House Judiciary account tweeted some quaint old-timey rhetoric about how Democrats are the ones who hate cops.

Twitter

Democrats defunded the police.

Democrats belittled the police.

Democrats threatened to abolish the police.

Republicans #BackTheBlue.

Period.

This charming set of lie-filled declarative statements can't hold up against the gripping testimony from officers who faced off against Trump's MAGA mob. The footage was devastating and undeniable, though Republicans are very good at denying reality. That's one of their core competencies.

If it wasn't clear already that Republicans back the insurrectionists who beat the cops black and blue, Newsmax host Grant Stinchfield mocked Capitol Police Sgt. Aquilino Gonell who feared for his life on January 6. Stinchfield insisted that Gonell couldn't possibly have been in any serious jeopardy because “there were no guns" in the Capitol. That's a lie, and even if no one literally shot Gonnell, the mob tried to hug and kiss him to death like he was one of Lennie's rabbits from Of Mice And Men.

Fox News contributor Julie Kelly, who's appeared multiple times on Tucker Carlson's white power hour, smeared Officer Michael Fanone as “crisis actor" who apparently went so method he let Trump's mob beat the crap out of him.

She tweeted:

Crisis actor Fanone just beat on the table and said it's "disgraceful!" that any elected official denies his narrative of what happened on January 6.

Calls it an "insurrection."

Blasting GOP lawmakers.

Now says this isn't about politics, lol.

He has many tattoos.

OMG, Officer Fanone has ... tattoos, possibly even many, as in more than one. He'll never get an invite to Kelly's country club. She also dismissed Officer Harry Dunn's testimony that Trump's thugs repeatedly called him racial slurs. She wasn't alone in her repulsiveness: Federalist co-founder Sean Davis said Dunn's claims are “unsubstantiated." He also shared damning examples of Dunn tweeting while a liberal.

This was all predictably horrible, but truly the low point of the day was Reps. Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Paul Gosar, and Louie Gohmert — all sitting members of Congress — attempting to hold a protest rally outside the Justice Department on behalf of the true January 6 victims — the criminal suspects who have been mostly treated with kid gloves considering they tried to overthrow the government. Cheney called this spectacle a “disgrace." We don't enjoy this recent trend of agreeing with a Cheney, but when she's right, she's right.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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