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The strangest goshdarned thing happened in the Senate today. Senators on both sides of the aisle have been pissed off that CIA Director Gina Haspel wasn't originally made available by the White House to brief them on the murder of bone-saw-murdered Washington Post journalist and legal US resident Jamal Khashoggi, at the almost certain orders of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS). Secretary of State Mike Pompeo had testified to the Senate -- after we learned he traveled to Saudi Arabia just after the murder to help the Saudis cover it up. Defense Secretary James Mattis put his credibility in a lockbox for safekeeping and testified to the Senate. Both said we just can't be extra certain MBS ordered that particular bone-sawing. And of course none other than the president of the United States has said there are bad people on both sides of bone saws. (Or something like that.)

But weirdly, the senators just weren't satisfied. It was like they wanted to hear from the director of the CIA or something, the person who was most closely read in on the intel, who had traveled to Turkey to see and hear the evidence, who heads the agency that said pretty unequivocally that MBS was behind the murder.

Gina Haspel showed up at the Senate today. Behind closed doors, no bone saws allowed.

And Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Secret Santa) came out of the room with the most memorable quote of all:


Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.) said while there was no smoking gun, there was a "smoking saw," referring to the bone saw that investigators have said was used to dismember Khashoggi after he was killed by a team of agents from Saudi Arabia in that country's consulate in Istanbul in October.

SMOKING BONE SAW. Lindsey mad, y'all!

That's not all he said:

Bob Corker said words too, and as a Tennessee Democrat, we hate to say this, but when Marsha Blackburn is sworn in, we're gonna be missing some Bob Corker, if only a little bit:

"If the Crown Prince went in front of a jury, he would be convicted in 30 minutes," said Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.), the chairman of the Committee on Foreign Relations.

And that's all Bob Corker needed to say about that. Oh wait just kidding he said more too:

Um, pretty sure Bob Corker just accused Jim Mattis and Mike Pompeo of lying to the Senate. Is that a thing we care about anymore in Trump's America?

GOP Alabama Senator Richard Shelby said the briefing with Haspel "confirmed a lot of our thoughts about the reprehensible killing to begin with," by which he meant their "thoughts" about how MBS outright ordered the bone saw assassination.

CNN's Kaitlan Collins accurately summed up where we find ourselves right now:

There was, of course, drama, because not all the senators got to go see Gina Haspel today. Rand Paul was a REAL doofus about it.

"I can't even ask to be included in it because I didn't know it was going to happen, except for reading about it in the media. That's not the way it should be. She should have come and testified in front of all senators," Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) said. "If you have some senators who are more equal than others, that is not democratic representation."

Oh for Christ's sake, Rand, it was for Republican and Democratic leadership on certain committees, and yes, we get why the whole Senate should be briefed, but when you start whining about how some senators are "more equal than others," that's when it's time to STFU and go mow your lawn and hope your next-door neighbor isn't angrily lurking around.

Anyway, if the Trump administration thought it would shut up the senators on the GOP side -- who also seem to be kind of concerned about our continued support for the Saudi war in Yemen, as they should be -- it sounds like maybe this didn't work.

Or maybe they'll all roll over and die because Trump says mean things about them on Twitter, like they usually do.

Who the fuck knows.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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