Sucks to be you, Paul Ryan! Not as much as it sucks to be a Dream Act kid, of course. But if a million DREAMers have to wait for That Orange Lunatic to decide what to do about DACA, at least it's ruining your Labor Day weekend, too, Paulie!

It's all fun and games when you're spending four years howling about Obama's tyrannical edicts. Not so fun when you "win" and your supporters expect you to go round up a million people and deport them. Well, half your supporters. Your first wife, you know the one with all the money, she's royally pissed that you're going to force business owners to hire and retrain 7,000 employees a week. She does not donate all that cash to your PAC so you can go out waste $61 million a week on recruiting and hiring new employees. But sister wife number two is going to lose her racist mind if you don't get to deporting all those scary Messicans, who are definitely the reason there are no jobs in Appalachia. Just last week she saw one of 'em leave a dirty microwave down at the Circle K, and she's pretty sure it was a MS-13!

Bigamy is hard, bro!

So Republicans put on their thinking caps and came up with A PLAN! They're going to jump up and down and shout, "There ought to be a law!"

Yeah, it's a really dumb plan. Particularly when you hold the White House and both Houses of Congress! But the majority of Americans support DACA, which allows people brought here as kids to apply for a permit to stay here and work legally. So now Republicans have to figure out how to kill DACA without seeming like racist assholes.

CNN reports,

[...]Ryan has also voted alongside Republicans for years in efforts to strip funding from deferred action or end it, and Ryan's office emphasized he is not supportive of the executive version of the program.

Ryan spokeswoman AshLee Strong emphasized after the interview: "The speaker does not agree with President Obama's DACA overreach. He believes it is Congress's responsibility to set immigration law."

Hey, Mr. Speaker! We can't help but notice that you and the sister wives have held all the cards for seven months now. If you were just mad that the mean black guy stoled your magic powers, you could have dealt with "Congress's responsibility to set immigration law" any time in the last 225 days*. Were you so busy trying to take health insurance away from 25 million Americans that it plum slipped your mind? Lucky for the you, the Republican Attorneys General are here to remind you and the President.

They will not be ignored!

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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