Restaurant Manager Rips Lick Knob Customer Into Tiny Pieces, Scatters Them To The Wind
Who's ready to see an online restaurant reviewer and terrible human (sorry to be redundant) get the righteous comeuppance they so deserve? Oooooh, we can't wait!
Via TheBitchyWaiter, the trouble started when a diner at Kilroy's Downtown Indy in Indianapolis, Indiana, had the sheer temerity to ruin her fellow patrons' night by having a heart attack right there in the restaurant. How dare she! Everyone knows public heart attacks are such a faux pas! To make matters worse, the restaurant cared more about this uncouth ruffian's cardiac infarction than another customer's own dire check situation. Holly Jones, said check-possessing customer, wasn't about to let this injustice go unpunished, so she posted to the restaurant's Facebook page:
Well, I never! How dare a servant speak to her of basic compassion, the scofflaw!
This is normally the point at which a restaurant would roll over and do whatever it took to make Holly happy, because most restaurants are given their marching orders by spineless, obsequious cretins. If this had happened at Olive Garden, I'm sure Holly would've promptly received a gift card and an offer for the offending manager in question to commit seppuku in front of her with a cocktail fork to cleanse the restaurant's shame.
Kilroy's, however, is not Olive Garden. In a since-removed Facebook post, Kilroy's manager Chris Burton became the hero we need:
First of all, the “overdosing junkie” that you speak of was a 70-year-old woman who had a heart attack. Thankfully she was revived at the hospital and survived. It sounds like you were very concerned about her so I thought you should know. This poor lady, who was celebrating New Year’s Eve with her husband and son, had to be placed on the floor of a completely packed bar and have her shirt removed in front of everyone so the paramedics could work on her.
But I completely understand why you think being intoxicated (expletive) that didn’t understand your bill should take priority over a human life. I especially appreciate you making your server (who doesn’t curse) cry as well. I’m sure she really enjoyed working on New Year’s Eve just to deal with people such as yourself. I personally had to leave a show to take a phone call from an emotional manager telling me someone died at Kilroy’s and that other employees were not doing so well dealing with this. (At the time they didn’t know that she was going to make it.) So I understand how inconvenient this was for your night.
But honestly, I’m glad to hear you won’t be coming back to Kilroy’s because we wouldn’t want anyone as cold hearted and nasty as you returning. I appreciate anyone who chooses to spend their money at Kilroy’s until they act like you. You can take your money anywhere else after that, and I won’t lose a second of sleep over it. Happy New Year!
Burton then presumably casually flicked a lit cigarette behind him at a gasoline trail while donning sunglasses.
It gets better, too. Via HuffPo, after the whole thing went viral (because of course it did; shitty online restaurant reviewers getting their comeuppance is catnip to the internet), Holly's employer, Serenity Salon, was none too pleased about her behavior:
Then Serenity donated $500 to the heart attack victim, and the restaurant posted a GoFundMe for the customer, which has currently raised over $12,000.
Aww, lookit that: a heartwarming tale of restaurant kindness. Everyone wins! Well, except Holly, but who cares, she's an asshole.