Ivanka Trump Has Something Stupid To Say About Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez And Money


Ivanka Trump has a fake job for a fake president, but reporters still solicit her opinion on important matters as if she's had a single compelling thought in her pampered life. During a foot massage interview on Fox News, Trump was asked to comment on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal, specifically its federal jobs guarantee. Not sure why anyone would think Trust Fund Barbie is the best answer to America's Socialist Sweetheart, but here's what Trump had to say. It's absurd enough that we need to take it line by line.

CLUELESS HEIRESS: "I don't think most Americans, in their heart, want to be given something."

Yes, searching for a job is the whole point of life. Actually having one is like the last few seconds of The Graduate when you realize you've made a terrible mistake and have to live with it. The economy needs people sending in resumes, going on pointless third interviews, and telling the hiring manager their greatest weakness is "caring too much." Nothing good can come from just skipping to the working for compensation part.

Of course, Trump is a shameless hypocrite. There's no evidence she's ever "earned" a job or even filled out an application for one or had an interview that was more than just, "Daddy, I'd like to meet Justin Trudeau. How do we make that happen?"

CLUELESS HEIRESS: "I've spent a lot of time traveling around this country over the last four years. People want to work for what they get."

Trump thinks spending a few nights here and there in "flyover country" connects her to the common people. Did she not know people like to work before her father's presidential campaign? She also can't seem to get it through her peroxide skull that people "given" jobs would be working. That's what people do with jobs that aren't "senior adviser to the president."

Republicans talk about Americans' "right to work" all the time, but that just means shutting down unions. They don't literally mean Americans have a "right to work." That's just commie talk.

CLUELESS HEIRESS: "So, I think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want."

A recent survey showed that a majority of registered voters support the policies outlined in the Green New Deal. Granted, this survey probably didn't shake hands with diners during a campaign stop at a Denny's in Toledo, Ohio.

CLUELESS HEIRESS: "They want the ability to be able to secure a job. They want the ability to live in a country where's there's the potential for upward mobility."

Trump herself is living proof of a system where people, regardless of merit, are born at the top and just chillax there for a while. She dares to argue against people receiving something they didn't earn, when she herself stands to inherit billions from her father. Well, it's probably just millions, mostly in rubles, but she'll be OK.

We were hoping that Ocasio-Cortez had already smacked the taste out of Trump's mouth on Twitter, but her interview is one form of air pollution AOC is willing to ignore for now. As consolation, here's a clip of Donald Trump praising his daughter as a fancy-pants, job-creating business whiz.

This is not true. It is in fact the opposite of true. Last year, Trump even shut down her own sorry-ass clothing line so she could focus on her useless but flashy job as unelected Daddy whisperer. Trump is not someone who should ever speak about the dignity of work because she has no dignity and she's never really worked.

[Fox News / NBC News / CNN]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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