Ivanka Trump Has Something Stupid To Say About Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez And Money
Ivanka Trump has a fake job for a fake president, but reporters still solicit her opinion on important matters as if she's had a single compelling thought in her pampered life. During a
foot massage interview on Fox News, Trump was asked to comment on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal, specifically its federal jobs guarantee. Not sure why anyone would think Trust Fund Barbie is the best answer to America's Socialist Sweetheart, but here's what Trump had to say. It's absurd enough that we need to take it line by line.
CLUELESS HEIRESS: "I don't think most Americans, in their heart, want to be given something."
Yes, searching for a job is the whole point of life. Actually having one is like the last few seconds of The Graduate when you realize you've made a terrible mistake and have to live with it. The economy needs people sending in resumes, going on pointless third interviews, and telling the hiring manager their greatest weakness is "caring too much." Nothing good can come from just skipping to the working for compensation part.
Of course, Trump is a shameless hypocrite. There's no evidence she's ever "earned" a job or even filled out an application for one or had an interview that was more than just, "Daddy, I'd like to meet Justin Trudeau. How do we make that happen?"
CLUELESS HEIRESS: "I've spent a lot of time traveling around this country over the last four years. People want to work for what they get."
Trump thinks spending a few nights here and there in "flyover country" connects her to the common people. Did she not know people like to work before her father's presidential campaign? She also can't seem to get it through her peroxide skull that people "given" jobs would be working. That's what people do with jobs that aren't "senior adviser to the president."
Republicans talk about Americans' "right to work" all the time, but that just means shutting down unions. They don't literally mean Americans have a "right to work." That's just commie talk.
CLUELESS HEIRESS: "So, I think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want."
A recent survey showed that a majority of registered voters support the policies outlined in the Green New Deal. Granted, this survey probably didn't shake hands with diners during a campaign stop at a Denny's in Toledo, Ohio.
CLUELESS HEIRESS: "They want the ability to be able to secure a job. They want the ability to live in a country where's there's the potential for upward mobility."
Trump herself is living proof of a system where people, regardless of merit, are born at the top and just chillax there for a while. She dares to argue against people receiving something they didn't earn, when she herself stands to inherit billions from her father. Well, it's probably just millions, mostly in rubles, but she'll be OK.
We were hoping that Ocasio-Cortez had already smacked the taste out of Trump's mouth on Twitter, but her interview is one form of air pollution AOC is willing to ignore for now. As consolation, here's a clip of Donald Trump praising his daughter as a fancy-pants, job-creating business whiz.
This is not true. It is in fact the opposite of true. Last year, Trump even shut down her own sorry-ass clothing line so she could focus on her useless but flashy job as unelected Daddy whisperer. Trump is not someone who should ever speak about the dignity of work because she has no dignity and she's never really worked.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).