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Rick Perry Likes To Pet People, As A Greeting

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HOLY MOLY LOOK AT GOV. RICK PERRY TOUCH THIS MAN. JESUS. He's like, well sure I'll shake your hand old man, but before I do that, I'm just gonna pet your hair a lil' bit, and you're gonna have to deal with that. Ha ha ha! This is still so good, even on the 42nd watch. And it's not a one-off thing, either: this is simply how Rick Perry greets other humans.

A reporter for the Dallas Morning News shares her petting story:

I had my own encounter with Perry's hair affinity last weekend, after his speech in Washington. It was my first time covering the governor, and I had tracked him down in the hallway to ask about his tête-à-tête with rival Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. But the tête he was most concerned with at first was mine. With a simple swift movement, the man known to many as "Gov. Good Hair" deftly smoothed some errant tresses--before brushing off my question about Hutchison's Republican primary threat.

Ace wordplay!

So, readers: has Rick Perry ever petted your hair, or at the very least your penis or vagina?

Gov. Perry cares about your hair [Dallas Morning News]

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The president of the United States called a black woman a "dog" on Twitter Tuesday morning. It is common for folks who pride themselves on their supposed rational "level-headedness" to insist that Donald Trump's Twitter antics are part of some three-dimensional chess-like machinations intended to "distract" us from the Mueller investigation. But despite what Trump might think about my genetic stock, I'm capable of maintaining more than one competing thought in my head.

Sure, there's Russian collusion out the wazoo. Yes, immigrant children are still separated from their parents because of the Trump administration's cruel policies. But I also think whenever we dismiss something Trump does that would be a major story in any other presidency with a mammal chief executive, we help normalize this repulsive behavior.

I've mentioned before that every time Trump whips out his racist bullhorn, the "level-headed" brigade rapidly responds with examples of Trump also being an asshat to white guys and won't someone please think of them? "Doesn't Trump frequently call people dogs? He likes to take a Michael Vick theme to his personal insults." Charles M. Blow, who is more dedicated than I, looked into this claim, and it doesn't appear to be true.

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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