Rick Perry Now Wants to 'Uproot' Three Entire Branches of Government

Rick Perry Now Wants to 'Uproot' Three Entire Branches of Government

Last week's, shall we say, wavering over just which three federal agencies he would like to casually annihilate is now a very hilarious/painful thing of the past because known bozo Rick Perry is moving on to entire branches of government! Someone must have recently seen fit to inform Darling Ricky about the three branches of government (his policy briefings get more intense by the day) and he really liked the sound of it, felt like he could turn that now cursed number three right around, felt it might be God's way of telling him, "You, you, mi hijo [God is Mexican], are my chosen, my new destroyer of worlds." They say Rick Perry's small ambition grew three sizes that day.

That day being yesterday, when the hapless attendees of the Scott County Ronald Reagan Dinner (sounds miserable!) sat in slack-jawed horror as Rick Perry fought off security, rushed the dais, and began to cluck like a chicken rise like a phoenix:

Gov. Rick Perry returned to Iowa on Monday with plans to unveil a sweeping federal consolidation that he said would "uproot all three branches of government."


"The solution is not to nominate someone who is going to nibble around the edges," Perry said. "Washington doesn't need a new coat of paint. It needs a complete overhaul."

Sounds good, man. We're just going to get a couple more quotes around town, maybe check out this Romney guy or the pizza dude but we'll definitely get back to you!

He tries, guys. He sort of tries. [McClatchy; photo by versageek]


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