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Rick Perry Oddly Finds Social Security Less Unconstitutional Than Last Week

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Rick Perry's Texas conservative Jeebus freak routine includes some anti-establishment trailer park teabagger romance novel he released last year called"Fed Up!" One of the book's themes is a general contempt for Social Security and social safety net programs for the elderly -- typical polite parlor chat in rich white Southern homes, but not a concept suitable for a nation of older voters who have seen their pension funds and 401ks fed cyanide margaritas throughout the recession. What should Rick Perry tell those people? Easy! Just lie: "Rick Perry never said any of that, Social Security is cool, Rick Perry loves people who love Social Security just as much as he loves a photograph of a tiny baby wombat. Have you ever seen one of those? They're so cute. Who doesn't love cute? Rick Perry loves cute. CUTE." Fine, we are paraphrasing, but only by a little. Rick Perry's spokesman has never actually heard of "wombats." How to spin this?  


WSJ Washington Wire blog:

[Perry] suggested the program’s creation violated the Constitution. The program was put in place, “at the expense of respect for the Constitution and limited government,” he wrote, comparing the program to a “bad disease” that has continued to spread. Instead of “a retirement system that is no longer set up like an illegal Ponzi scheme,” he wrote, he would prefer a system that “will allow individuals to own and control their own retirement.”

But since jumping into the 2012 GOP nomination race on Saturday, Mr. Perry has tempered his Social Security views. His communications director, Ray Sullivan, said Thursday that he had “never heard” the governor suggest the program was unconstitutional. Not only that, Mr. Sullivan said, but “Fed Up!” is not meant to reflect the governor’s current views on how to fix the program.

Yes. He never heard Perry say that. He might have read those words on a page, but he never heard it. Catch his drift? [WSJ]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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