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Rick Santorum: Make Teleprompters 'Illegal' On The Campaign Trail

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Family piggybank smasher Rick Santorum has tried it all in his vanity presidential campaign, from constantly insulting gays to constantly insulting women, but victory just doesn't seem to be in the stars for this comically ousted Senator from last decade. How's he gonna kill time until God finally gives him the green-light to quit the race? What about... teleprompters? Does anyone have a problem with him "doubling-down on teleprompters" as his hail-mary strategy for defeating Mittens? No? Okay then, let's run with teleprompters should be illegal for the big closing argument.


Some will simply dismiss this as "Rick Santorum telling a joke," something that has never happened:

"See, I always believed that when you run for president of the United States, it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter. Because all you're doing is reading someone else's words to people."

Oh, well once you see the rationale, it makes much more sense: Teleprompters should be illegal because they allow people... to have speechwriters or aides who help craft messages? The likely truth is just that his campaign can't afford a teleprompter. Which is a shame, because maybe if he'd had a teleprompter, or speechwriters, or handlers, he wouldn't have fucked up every thirty seconds.

Maybe.

[TPM]

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