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Love the smell of Republican infighting!


Oh how terrible, it seems that Donald Trump's existence continues to tear the Republican Party asunder, we are so deeply sorry about how hard we are LOLing.

National Review, the racist collective of racist goons spawned from William F. Buckley, Jr.'s racist loin hole, has been fired by the RNC from the Feb. 26 Republican debate, because it said so many means about Trump, both in an editorial (which said "Trumpsux!") and an online symposium, which brought the "best" and "brightest" and "most sane" voices in Conserva-Fucknugget Land to explain why they also agree that Trumpsux.

[contextly_sidebar id="ArIvNAp1yK7GrqhH0sevi8X9PL2WV4Qj"]All your conservative sex fantasies contributed to the symposium: Glenn Beck; racial reconciliation specialist Erick Erickson (who we guess had time to write about Trump between bouts of goat-fucking); Bill Kristol; Dana Loesch; Russell Moore (the Southern Baptist leader who called Trump a yoooooge slutty philandering demon-humper), and all the other people.

[contextly_sidebar id="2Bddgj0gX6ObfgXe41ScupqLDIGkfh6o"]You will have a surprise heart attack to learn that the National Review's reasons for Trump being very bad have nothing to do with Trump actin' all racist -- they likes racism just fine, for instance HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE, etc. -- but more with how Trump is not a True Conservative, because he has wibble-wobbled all over the place on all the issues. We'll pinch off one paragraph of this loaf for you, but if you want to read the rest, you'll have to click and read the article yourself. Try not to get beaned by any of Rich Lowry's starbursts while you're over there:

His signature issue is concern over immigration — from Latin America but also, after Paris and San Bernardino, from the Middle East. He has exploited the yawning gap between elite opinion in both parties and the public on the issue, and feasted on the discontent over a government that can’t be bothered to enforce its own laws no matter how many times it says it will (President Obama has dispensed even with the pretense). But even on immigration, Trump often makes no sense and can’t be relied upon. A few short years ago, he was criticizing Mitt Romney for having the temerity to propose “self-deportation,” or the entirely reasonable policy of reducing the illegal population through attrition while enforcing the nation’s laws. Now, Trump is a hawk’s hawk.

Blah blah blah. So, crash boom bang, all the National Review jizz-biscuits suddenly don't have any plans that night in February.

[contextly_sidebar id="PtfWlBIyVBcynO9uPEPwST9uAW3oxfFi"]Now you'll remember that the RNC has been stomping its little hooves about things being SO UNFAIR! for a while now. Back in October, Reince Priebus cried to his mom and Satan and Jesus and anybody else who would listen about how terrible and horrible all the questions at the CNBC Republican debate were. So for the February debate, the RNC went ahead and preemptively fired NBC, before it fired National Review.

[contextly_sidebar id="Jm1fKg8EnJsgx5V3gFU2XnQLpx8vouaX"]It wasn't so long ago that the RNC treated Trump a bit differently, back when they didn't realize he was here to stay, that very intelligent Republican voters might not "fall in line" behind whichever douchebag they picked to be 2016's version of 2012 election winner Mitt Romney. They even made him pinky swear not to run as a third-party candidate, just to make sure he wasn't fucking around. As recently as December, we were hearing rumors about brokered conventions and chaos and, oh god, we cummed all over ourselves just thinking about it.

But haha, now it seems Pandora's cat has been let so far out of the bag that it can't be contained. Donald Trump is the president of the GOP, the true ball-licking heir to Reagan, which is so appopriate actually, considering how Reagan was a dumb actor who managed to turn idiot resentment into electoral force, and Trump is a dickbag reality TV star who is doing, DING DING DING, the same thing.

We would pity the Republicans, if we could ever stop laughing.

[National Review / National Review Trumpsux editorial / National Review Trumpsux symposium via Crooks & Liars]

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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