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RNC Hails Its New King! Wonkagenda For Monday, December 26, 2016
Happy Monday Morning, Wonketariat, and a good nondenominational holiday greeting to you! Here's some of the things we might be talking about today!
- Not wanting to be out-scandalized by Donald Trump, this year's RNC message decided to pay homage to our new magic God-King, which triggered tons of butthurt and trolling. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
- Jason Miller was named as Trump's director of communication last week, but Miller suddenly resigned on Christmas Eve around the same time that Trump talking head A.J. Delgado started tweeting about her bang-a-thon with him.
- Donald Trump will close his charities after being accused of running them as slush funds that were used to buy politicians, while he and his family try to absolve themselves of ethical conflicts that could screw over the entire country.
- Democrats are targeting Trump's tax plan before the next Congress is even in session so that you'll know whose hand was sliding into your wallet when Republicans try to screw 99% of the American working poor.
- In an exit interview with David Axelrod, Obama's saying he won't fade quietly into that good night, because he's still got pockets full of hope and change to give away.
- Jerry Falwell is OK with Rex Tillerson because he doesn't think a secretary of State needs to have opinions on social issues, like gay butt sex and Boy Scouts.
- Conservative blowhards and bullshit artists have decided that the best way to combat fake news is to act like fucking babies and call real journalists and news outlets "left-wing fake news." It's probably why Trump has hired almost 20 people devoted to
- The U.S. is set to make another milestone in selling more than $68 billion in weapons to our friends in parts of Not America, but that number is "PEANUTS" now that weapons manufacturers around the world have sprung up to help support all the new potential proxy wars between first world powers.
- As kidnappings of Americans increased, the White House quietly worked to shift U.S. foreign policy to bring home U.S. hostages, which is just a fancy way of saying Obama negotiated with his secret Muslim terrorist friends to save lives. IMPEACH!
- Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe will visit Pearl Harbor, where he won't apologize for World War II, and will rub Obama's nose in how not great America is today.
- Here's some Nice Time photos of the White House's holiday decorations before everything is stripped, sold or covered in cheap gold paint and hair spray.
- And here's your morning Nice Time, PANDAS! Or, to be more specific, this giant panda fighting a snow man.