From Russia With Lube
Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.
See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.
It is not a week in the Trump administration without some Playboy type people waving her tits around on a plate, so here's Young on Guccifer 2.
In an exclusive interview, Robbin, 63, told Sun Online: "I thought he was one Romanian man and I fell in love with him - now to be told it could have been 12 Russian spies running that account - I'm shocked.
"If this is all true it's like I've had Twitter sex with 12 Russian hackers."
It is ... almost exactly like that, isn't it! HUH!
But it wasn't long before the pair began sending each other sexy direct messages - with Guccifer telling the former actress she was his "ideal woman".
In one message he wrote: "Wow u r making me breath harder .. ur soul's so pure and unspoiled .. it beckons me."
After she sent him a set of topless pictures, Guccifer wrote: "I'm speachless [sic] u made my day now... i'm forgetting what I was doing... everything i want to do now is look at u again and again."
Robbin, who lives in Las Vegas, said she quickly fell for Guccifer's romantic messages - and at one point told him: "I never communicated with anyone before that was as romantic as I am. You, amaze me."
She then sent him an erotic poem she wrote herself called "Naughty Addiction" about giving him oral sex which ended, "When I'm sexually satiated... After hours of sensual lovemaking...You're my... Naughty addiction.. I desire... Mmmm... French Fries... Why do you... Satisfy me so?"
MMMM FRENCH FRIES.
But it was not all laughs and silly jokes! Things got very DEEP when Young told her 12 military intelligence beaus that she would never hurt them like those women hurt Julian Assange, by being allegedly raped by him.
And love they did!
"It seems crazy that I could fall in love with someone online so quickly but I felt we had a powerful connection.
"I always do my research before I start to DM with someone so I looked into who he was and looked on his website - so I felt I knew a lot about him.
Or as much as you could know about a man whose name you don't know, whose face you haven't seen, and who's actually 12 Russian spies on the Internet.
"I truly believed I was communicating with one man from Romania and I still believe that.
Well, that is not very SMRT.
"He never tried to influence me towards voting for Donald Trump or against Hillary Clinton - I felt he was very impartial."
It is good he never tried to do those things, or it might have made Young think Hillary Clinton was a shady type of person who might murder someone, like in these DMs she just tweeted out about how she was pretty sure Clinton murdered Seth Rich, who "gave" the DNC emails to "Guccifer." (Didn't do that.)
That is weird that the Russian military intelligence officer men wanted the "Bond Girl" (Girl In Flower Shop) from Las Vegas to find the evidence about Seth Rich being murdered? Maybe they figured she could team up with Laura Loomer, that would have been cool.
And now Guccifer is a Ghost in the Machine (get it? he ghosted her? it's an old Police album but also some book about Descartes?) and mama's getting her PR on. You go, Robbin Young. Get paid.
And YOU! Hey YOU! Pay US! Thank you we love you.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.