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Mama said knock you out


What in the hell happened with the Robert Mueller investigation and the FBI on Tuesday? The sheer number of news items suddenly leaking out about the investigation, and about Donald Trump's continuing attempts to obstruct justice and purge the FBI of people he views as Democratic operative loyalists to former FBI director James "Actually I Am A Republican, You Idiot" Comey -- or, alternatively, just "Democrats," which are apparently not allowed -- is insane.

This is all happening before a backdrop of Trump's favorite dicklicker, Rep. Devin Nunes, mounting a make-believe campaign to release a memo HIS OFFICE WROTE, that allegedly "exposes" all kinds of "abuses" at the FBI, "abuses" intended to hurt Donald The Perfect. Meanwhile, Kremlin/White House propaganda organ Fox News is now saying it's time to DECLARE WAR on the FBI and the Justice Department, and making up new and special conspiracy theories about how there is a "secret society" at the FBI, intent on Donald Trump's destruction.

Shit is CRAZY.

We learned Tuesday that Robert Mueller's team spoke to Attorney General Jeff Sessions, most likely a target of the investigation, last week, about all kinds of things.

Just a few minutes later, we learned that James Comey hisself sat with Mueller near the end of last year. Those are two pretty high profile interviews, and the news prompted many on the news to ask, "DOES THIS MEAN MUELLER INVESTIGATION IS ALMOST OVER?" Not so fast, quick draw! But this could mean the Trump obstruction of justice part of the investigation is almost over, which would make sense, because Mueller's had Trump dead to rights on obstruction since BEFORE EITHER MAN WAS BORN.

Indeed, NYT reports Comey was interviewed about the MOTHERFUCKIN' MEMOS he wrote about his creepy bad-touch interactions with the Autocratic Pussgrabber, including Trump's attempts to get Comey to quit investigating Russia and "go easy" on Michael Flynn. Meanwhile, Jeff Sessions was part of Comey's firing -- and seems to have helped obstruct justice for Trump during that time! -- which Trump undertook because he was mad about the Russia investigation.

Is Trump worried about what Sessions said to Mueller? Heck no, he said in the Oval Office on Tuesday. This either means Trump is pretty sure Sessions, whom he has been bullying for months, is now acting as his dirty nasty motherfucker "Roy Cohn," willing to lie for Trump to the special counsel, or it could also mean Trump is literally smoking crack.

Is Trump worried about what Comey said to Mueller? Hahahaha, bet your ass.

The Comey and Sessions interviews made a lot of sense when the Washington Post broke news about precisely what Mueller wants to interview Donald Trump about:

Special counsel Robert S. Mueller III is seeking to question President Trump in the coming weeks about his decisions to oust national security adviser Michael Flynn and FBI Director James B. Comey, according to two people familiar with his plans.

Mueller’s interest in the events that led Trump to push out Flynn and Comey indicates that his investigation is aggressively scrutinizing possible efforts by the president or others to hamper the special counsel’s probe. [...]

Mueller has also expressed interest in Trump’s efforts to remove Sessions as attorney general or pressure him into quitting, according to a person familiar with the probe. The person said the special counsel was seeking to determine whether there was a “pattern” of behavior by the president.

WaPo reports that Trump's lawyers are really hoping Mueller will let Trump answer some of the questions in person and do the rest as a take-home test. We can only imagine this is giving Mueller a case of the LOLs, as he prepares a grand jury subpoena for the president of the United States, you know, just in case he needs it. That would be bad, according to Trump buddy/Deep State assassination victim Roger Stone, who sees the idea of a Trump sit-down with Mueller as a "suicide mission."

It's not news that Mueller would want to hear Trump's side of the story on the Flynn firing, since Trump has given eight different excuses about it. Moreover, Mueller needs to get to the bottom of what exactly Trump knows about Flynn lying to the FBI, and when did he know it. Interestingly, NBC News reports that Flynn didn't tell anybody in the White House about his interview with the FBI -- one year ago right now! -- where he lied about his contacts with the Russian ambassador. Of course, the White House found out about it a couple days later, because then-acting attorney general Sally Yates marched to the White House and pulled the fire alarm. Yates, according to NBC News, has been very helpful to Robert Mueller!

(NBC also reports that DNI Dan Coats, outgoing NSA Director Mike Rogers, and CIA Director Mike Pompeo have been interviewed by Mueller's team.)

Also, it's not really news that Mueller would want to hear from Trump about his obstruction of justice with James Comey. Duh.

But did you catch the part above we put in bold print, that seems to suggest Mueller is looking into events long after the Comey firing, including Trump's attempts to pressure/fire Jeff Sessions, as well as attempts by Trump and others to fuck with Mueller's own investigation? WHOA IF TRUE! That means this obstruction of justice case is a lot bigger and far-reaching than we knew.

Along those lines, there is also a ton of news about Trump's attempts (and Jeff Sessions's attempts!) to purge the FBI of people who do not sufficiently respect his authori-tah, as well as news of FBI Director Chris Wray's reported threats to resign in protest.

But this post is long already, so let's talk about all that in OUR NEXT POST, which is RIGHT HERE!)

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[New York Times / NBC News / Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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