Robert Mueller Has Barely Even Begun To Kick Paul Manafort In The Dick

Check his underpants for laundered money.

Hey, here's some fun news in the Robert Mueller investigation that's still going on behind the scenes, while we're all distracted by awesome kids dunking on Marco Rubio and calling Dana Loesch a vampire! Turns out new charges have been filed against Paul Manafort and his little buddy Rick Gates, who is in the process of flipping and becoming a cooperating witness. What charges? We do not know, because they are a SECRET -- it could be brand new stuff, or it could be what's known as a "superseding indictment," which updates/replaces the earlier charges. So maybe there are new things for Gates to plead guilty to in his deal, and more reasons for Manafort to GO TO JAIL.

It's been clear for a while that Mueller is doing everything he can to squeeze Manafort. He's flipping Gates, and he just charged Alex van der Zwaan, a lawyer who worked for Manafort and the Ukrainian government, with lying to the FBI. The work Van der Zwaan did for Manafort/Ukraine is connected to Manafort's work as an unregistered LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT, and also the money laundering charges and the Defrauding The United States charges. Guess who worked at Van der Zwaan's law firm when it was doing work for Manafort/Ukraine? Andrea Manafort, daughter of Paul.


New Manafort crimes seem to be emerging every five minutes! NBC News reports that Mueller has been looking into whether Manafort promised a Chicago banker a job in the Trump White House in exchange for $16 million in home loans, because that would be totally normal.

LOL, look at this craven slut:

Manafort received three separate loans in December 2016 and January 2017 from Federal Savings Bank for homes in New York City, Virginia and the Hamptons.

The banker, Stephen Calk, president of the Federal Savings Bank, was announced as a member of candidate Trump's Council of Economic Advisers in August 2016.

Special counsel Robert Mueller's team is now investigating whether there was a quid pro quo agreement between Manafort and Calk.

Calk didn't get a White House job, but oh fuck, there goes Paul Manafort, running away with millions of dollars again!


In court filings Friday related to Manafort's bail, federal prosecutors said they have "substantial evidence" that a loan made from the bank to Manafort using the Virginia and Hamptons properties as collateral was secured through false representations made by Manafort, including misstatements of income.

Running away with millions of dollars and also telling dirty fibs? Yep, that sounds like Paul Manafort!

When asked for a White House statement on this, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders gleefully exclaimed, "I'm going to the Olympics. AS A GIRL!" (Just kidding, the White House did not respond, but the Shuckster literally did say this week that she is going to the Olympics "as a female." BUT WE DIGRESS.)

Mueller's focus on Manafort's home loans is also apparent in a court filing from last Friday, which said the special counsel's team had found "additional criminal conduct" related to "bank frauds and bank fraud conspiracies" on his property in Fairfax, Virginia. This is clearly important to Mueller, as the Fairfax property is part of the collateral Manafort has offered to put up, as he begs for Mueller to grant him the right to bail himself out of House Jail.

It's fairly clear at this point that Robert Mueller is not going to stop looking for and finding Paul Manafort's crimes until Manafort agrees to spill everything he knows about the Trump-Russia conspiracy to steal American democracy.

And as hard as Mueller is going, we're gonna guess Trump is so guilty it'll make your head spin.

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[NBC News]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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