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OOH, very interesting scoop from the CNN about what special counsel Robert Mueller is up to!

Investigators for special counsel Robert Mueller have recently been asking witnesses about Donald Trump's business activities in Russia prior to the 2016 presidential campaign as he considered a run for president, according to three people familiar with the matter.

Questions to some witnesses during wide-ranging interviews included the timing of Trump's decision to seek the presidency, potentially compromising information the Russians may have had about him, and why efforts to brand a Trump Tower in Moscow fell through, two sources said.

Oh boy, Trump is going to hate this, considering how he said last year that looking into his shitty fake Russian money deals is supposed to be off the table.

Now, we've known Mueller has been up Trump's ass regarding his screwy and probably criminal business dealings, with Russia and elsewhere, for ages now. (Because hello, Trump said that is where all the bodies are buried?) But it's very interesting to have this reporting about Mueller looking specifically at Trump's attempts at business deals with Russia just before he officially decided to run for president. In fact, we feel comfortable saying that Robert Mueller is about to hit the motherfucking bull's eye. We would also like to state for the record that we called this back in August of 2017.

Let's pick apart the details in this CNN report real fast:

The Part About The Moscow Trump Tower That Never Happened!

On August 29, 2017, we wrote an incredible, informative and hilarious post asking if Trump's failed Moscow Trump Tower deal was the key to unlocking the entire Trump-Russia conspiracy. Mueller is reportedly interested in that story going back to the 2013 Moscow Miss Universe pageant, where the seeds of the idea were planted. As CNN notes, Trump tweeted just after the trip, "I just made a Russian lady hooker pee tape, it is my dream come true!" LOL just kidding, he tweeted that TRUMP TOWER MOSCOW IS COMING!

To briefly recap: Russian oligarch Aras Agalarov and his son Emin were partners with Trump in throwing the Moscow Miss Universe Pageant. (They also were the ones who set up Dumbass Junior's Big Russian Meeting in Trump Tower in June 2016!) Trump and the Agalarovs first talked about doing a Trump Tower Moscow in 2014, but that all fell apart because of Obama's sanctions on Russia, in punishment for its illegal annexation of Crimea.

In late 2015, during the campaign, the Trump Organization, led by Trump fixer goon "lawyer" Michael Cohen, was again trying to finalize a deal for Trump Tower in Moscow, all while shouting "NO RUSSIA! NO RUSSIA!" on the campaign trail. Trump signed a letter of intent on October 28, 2015, so he was clearly in the loop. Meanwhile, Trump's Russian-American crime buddy Felix Sater, Michael Cohen's boyhood BFF, had been bragging that they could use the deal as a quid pro quo to somehow get Trump elected. That one fell apart too, because, you know, Art Of The Deal.

In emails between Cohen and Sater during that time, they talked a hell of a lot about using the deal to "get Putin's buy-in" and "get Donald elected," but they didn't seem to be talking just about building a big ugly skyscraper with Trump's fat fucking name on it. It seemed like there was a hell of a lot more political scheming going on! "Can you believe two guys from Brooklyn are going to elect a president?" That is a quote from one of the emails. For real!

There's much more to it, and please read our original post on all this, but these revelations led us and many others to wonder whether this allegedly failed deal was a cover for something much more nefarious. It also seemed to suggest that the Steele Dossier was right on when it alleged that Michael Cohen was at the very center of the Russian conspiracy to steal the White House and give it to Trump. Indeed, as the Trump Tower Moscow deal was falling apart, Sater had Cohen send a Hail Mary to Dmitry Peskov, one of Putin's prime fixers, and also the guy the dossier says was the main dude with all the Hillary Clinton dirt. Was the Hail Mary really just about an ugly Trump building, or was it something more? Because really, doesn't it kind of seem weird that an ugly Trump building would be a quid pro quo for getting Trump elected president of America, even if the building did have granite countertops and (we assume) dual vanities?

As we wrote at the time:

Is it possible Felix Sater sent Michael Cohen to Dmitry Peskov ... not because the Trump Tower project was stalled, but because another kind of Trump deal with Russia was stalled? What if the whole deal really was that Russia will launder gabillions of dollars in Trump’s general direction and will assist in a massive hacking operation involving operatives in Russia and America to get Trump elected, and in exchange, Trump as president will get rid of all those pesky sanctions that make it impossible for Putin and his band of merry oligarchs to do business, and moreover Trump will reorient American foreign policy away from meddling in Russia’s business and just let it do whatever it wants with its sphere of influence? [...]

We don’t know if this Trump Tower Moscow real estate deal will be ultimately the thread that, once pulled, unravels the whole thing. But it sure as fuck seems like it might be, because for the first time, we feel like we can actually see the vaguest hint of an outline of what this Trump-Russia conspiracy looks like, and it looks like “HOLY SHIT.”

That was way back in August of 2017. Now, in February 2018, we have reporting from CNN that suggests Robert Mueller is zeroed in on the target, and he's about to go in for the kill.

Which leads us to ...

The Part About The Pee Tape!

Clearly Mueller is interested in way more than just whether Donald Trump got a golden shower on his meat body in the Moscow Ritz Carlton in 2013. He is curious about it, though! Indeed, CNN says Mueller is asking a lot of questions about whether Russia has kompromat of any kind on Trump.

Mueller is interested in everything about that Moscow Miss Universe trip -- who paid for it? How much money did Trump make? What-all Russian government figures and oligarchs did Trump pussgrab 'n' chill with? Is the pee tape just gross, or is it grosser than gross? Is Trump just totally drenched in pee, and is he clapping his hands and thumping his wrinkled orange panty rocket a lot? Are we talking dribbles of Russian hooker pee, or enough to fill Shamu's tank at Sea World? Those are Mueller's questions, we bet:

... [I]nvestigators were interested in logistics surrounding Trump's hotel room in Moscow: Who was there? Who would have access to it? Who was in charge of security? Who was moving around with him during the trip?

Yeah, let's just answer those questions real fast:

  1. All the Russian pee hookers, allegedly.
  2. All the Russian pee hookers, and the oligarchs who invited Trump to the pee party, and also Russian intelligence, allegedly.
  3. Former Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller, and some Russians, not allegedly.
  4. Keith Schiller, not allegedly.

Remember that time Schiller testified to the House Intelligence Committee that yes, Russians offered Trump five women, but it totally didn't happen, because that would be just silly, but then Schiller went to bed and he does not technically know whether Donald Trump got up on all fours on his bed wearing his tighty-whities and called the Russian oligarchs to request the women? Good times.

The pee tape is fucking real. And so is the rest of the Trump-Russia conspiracy.

We don't know what day this will blow wide open into public view, but Robert Mueller does.

And when that happens ... holy shit.

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[CNN]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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