Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things wemay be talking about today.

Former Trump idiot Sam Nunberg ran around ALMOST every cable news channel yesterday to yell and scream about being over-served by Robert Mueller, prompting CNN's Erin Burnett to comment that Nunberg smelled a bit boozy. Nunberg's drunken donkey show is being seen as a textbook prank from Nixonian ratfucker Roger Stone.

As Sam Nunberg went on every other channel to bitch about HIS EMAILS, Geraldo went on Hannity to rub one out over a selfie with Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump. Upon climax, they gave one another a sweaty freedom fist-bump. Gross.

House Oversight Chairman Jim Jordan thinks he found one of Hillary Clinton's "tentacles" in documents that show the Clinton Foundation trying to fight AIDS in Not America with the former Australian diplomat who tipped off the FBI about Trump-Russia and George Papadopoulos.

Smarmy Trump lawyer Michael Cohen bitched that Trump hadn't paid him back for that time he gave porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 FOR NO REASON AT ALL. [Archive]

Michael Flynn has to sell his house in Old Town Alexandria to pay his legal bills. LOLOLOCK HIM UP!

Gary Cohn is trying to coordinate businesses and Republicans to stage an intervention inside Trump's White House with the hope of stopping Trump's trade war. Good luck!

The Trump administration is giving tens of millions in federal family-planning grants to abstinence groups that utilize "natural family planning" and the power of prayer instead of science and slut pills. Say goodbye to those record-low teen birth rates! BYE!

The Trump Organization is trying to place the presidential seal all over Trump golf courses, even though that's a bigly crime.

FEC rules are super strict about what federal employees can and can't say about political candidates, so let's all place bets on which Trump official violates FEC rules first!

Though the the Parkland shooting has fallen off the front page, anti-gun and student groups are continuing to mobilize GOTV and lobbying efforts.

A Maryland court begrudgingly held up Trump's decision to defer the dreams of DACA recipients, with the judge opining that it's Congress that must act, adding, "This Court does not like the outcome of this case, but is constrained by its constitutionally limited role to the result that it has reached."

A federal judge in California turned down a state request to issue a preliminary injunction on the DOJ from screwing with sanctuary cities, opting instead to wait for ICE to violate states' rights.

Jon Stewart went to DC to rally lawmakers and rail against Mick Mulvaney's attempt to screw over the health benefits of 9/11 survivors and responders.

The Congressional Black Caucus has signed on to a new ethics measure to ban members of Congress from sleeping in their offices; now some Republicans are desperate to avoid accusations of being filthy welfare queens leeching off the government.

Colorado Republican Senator Cory Gardner hates his life as the head of the National Republican Senate Committee. He has to investigate all the GOP's creepy old cranks, and be two-faced to Democrats. The struggle is real.

Mississippi Republican Sen. Thad Cochran is finally resigning after months of speculation; now the GOP is bracing for the tinfoil hats to come marching in.

Former Clinton HHS secretary and U of Miami president Donna Shalala filed the paperwork to run for Florida's 27th Congressional District after the crowded race was considered "unwinnable" for the GOP.

As West Virginia teachers continue to strike for higher pay for the second week, local legislators are trying to spin the bad press. And yes, the teachers are STILL feeding poor students!

The Florida state Senate narrowly passed a gun-control bill that bans people under 21 from buying guns, bans the sale of "bump stocks," and requires a three-day waiting period for most guns, but it also has an opt-in conceal carry measure for schools.

Early this morning, South Korean officials said that North Korea is interested in bailing on its nuclear winter wonderland provided the US remove military threats. North Korean officials are offering to suspend nuclear and missile tests for the duration of the talks.

Reddit is facing fierce internal criticism from its users for hiding Russian bots and fuckery and allowing hateful troll communities to exist and prosper.

A number of tech companies are going out of their way to hit a neo-Nazi group with a banhammer after ProPublica investigated their involvement in the murder of a 19-year-old gay man from California.

Chelsea Clinton was on Colbert speaking in complete sentences about being a public and political figure, and how ladies persist around the world. It is delightful!

And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby Elephants! They never forget to be CUTE!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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