Robert Mueller Will Not Hestitate To Shove This Subpoena Directly Up Trump's Ass

Gonna fuck you up!

BIG UPDATE on those 49 questions special counsel Robert Mueller has for Donald Trump, the ones SOMEBODY near the Trump "legal" team leaked to the New York Times, and it is from the Washington Post. Apparently, back on March 5, when the president's "lawyers" were negotiating with Mueller over a possible interview, Mueller made very clear that if Trump wasn't willing to waddle his ass over for a voluntary interview, he would not hesitate to shove this subpoena right up Trump's keister and force him to either sit before a grand jury, where he can show how guilty he is without his lawyers in the room, or plead the Fifth, which would also send a message about how guilty Trump is. It's a lose-lose situation, Mr. President, because that is what losers get!

Mueller’s warning — the first time he is known to have mentioned a possible subpoena to Trump’s legal team — spurred a sharp retort from John Dowd, then the president’s lead lawyer.

“This isn’t some game,” Dowd said, according to two people with knowledge of his comments. “You are screwing with the work of the president of the United States.”

John Dowd with the sharp retort! Wonder if Dowd was one of WaPo's four sources, and if he told them about how truly sharp his retort was! (Dowd is on the record as the source for AP's version of this story, so we're gonna guess YUP.)

Of course, it's not like the "president" does much "work," and he's probably an illegitimate president, so we don't much care how much Mueller prevents him from doing the important business of fucking America in the ass repeatedly AKA Making America Great Again.

WaPo reveals that it was after this meeting that Trump "lawyer" Jay Sekulow put together the list of 49 questions we read this week, based on what Mueller told them he wanted to talk to the president about. Hey, remember how Trump tweeted about how APPALLED he was that these questions were leaked to the New York Times? Yeah, it's HIS LEGAL TEAM'S LIST, leaked by somebody near HIS LEGAL TEAM. Hell, the questions could have even come from one of King Dipshit's aides, since it's pretty obvious Trump is using the leak to try to convince the public that Mueller is going too far with his WITCH HUNT, including insinuating that it was Mueller who leaked the questions.

Indeed, WaPo reports that that's the strategery here:

Trump fumed when he saw the breadth of the questions that emerged out of the talks with Mueller’s team, according to two White House officials.

The president and several advisers now plan to point to the list as evidence that Mueller has strayed beyond his mandate and is overreaching, they said.

“He wants to hammer that,” according to a person who spoke to Trump on Monday.

Good plan, idiots! Except for one thing, which is that despite how Trump and his legal team think they've convinced America the investigation is a WITCH HUNT, the majority of Americans know that's bullshit, because the majority of Americans don't suckle at Fox News's teat the way Trump does.

Now that we know Mueller is willing to throw subpoenas around, they'd better come up with a plan for how best to have Trump sit for a perjury interview (because he will lie) with Mueller, unless the president and his "lawyers" want to set up a constitutional crisis of truly epic proportions, leading to a fight at the Supreme Court over whether it's OK to subpoena a sitting president, a fight Trump will likely lose.

But don't worry, lead Trump Russia "lawyer" Rudy Giuliani has a plan!

“Hopefully we’re getting near the end. We all on both sides have some important decisions to make,” Giuliani said. “I still have a totally open mind on what the right strategy is, which we’ll develop in the next few weeks.”

OK, Rudy Giuliani will have a plan, when he gets around to having a plan! (Maybe they will get a plan when and if somebody on Trump's legal team gets a security clearance to even discuss issues like this, because right now, none of them has one. John Dowd had one, but UH OH, he got quit-fired.)

"In the meantime," reports WaPo, they are thinking maybe they can write down the answers to all these questions and turn them in to Mueller, like common homework, which we're sure will impress him very much. That plan worked so well the first time!

In other Mueller investigation news, or more specifically, in other news of the Trump regime interfering with the Mueller investigation, y'all really should read Jonathan Chait's analysis of news that Ukraine stopped cooperating with Mueller's investigation when Trump decided to arm the nation with anti-tank missiles back in December. Before that, Mueller and Ukraine had been playing quite nicely! Was the missile sale a bribe? Jonathan Chait and Wonkette are just asking. And reportedly, Ukraine is kinda sorta answering, at least to the point of saying the missile sale really encouraged them to stay away from doing anything to "irritate" Trump. How convenient for everyone involved.

And if you think Trump wouldn't stoop that low to lie and obstruct justice and cover his dirty orange ass, you obviously don't quite understand what a piece of shit excuse for a human being the "president" really is.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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