Donate

Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.

News

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier "land reformer" of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and "winning" elections and having lots of friends do things for him with guns pointed at their heads and wads of worthless cash stuffed down their back pockets. It turns out the United Nations, not even your high school's model United Nations team, but the real thing, has appointed Mugabe as a "leader for tourism" in the UN's World Tourism Organization. Is this like when an alcoholic celebrity is asked to do community service? Also, Mugabe is under a travel ban, which makes this extra wonderful.


Mugabe recently met with another winner, Zambian president Michael Sata, at Victoria Falls, on the border of Zambia and Zimbabwe, where they shook hands and promised to try to get Richard Branson on the phone to talk about a fleet of fun planes they want to call Virgin Africa. No, not really. But well maybe!

Here's what the UN's WTO secretary general Taleb Rifai had to say about Zimbabwe, according to the Mugabe-run Zimbabwean newspaper the Herald:

I was told about the wonderful experience and the warm hospitality of this country … By coming here, it is recognition, an endorsement on the country that it is a safe destination.

By which he must mean...travel is CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP! Zimbabwe is the new Cancun you guys!

Er...OK! There are so many places in this world, and yet the theory seems to be...bring tourism money into dictator-run dangerzone, danger go away! Someone normal, Kumbi Mechemwa of the Movement for Deomcratic Change, had this to say, to the Guardian:

I can't see any justification for the man being an 'ambassador'. An ambassador for what? The man has blood on his hands. Do they want tourists to see those bloody hands?

Sure, yes. Mugabe has been in power for more than 30 years, during which time Zimbabwe has gone from the "bread basket" of Africa to a "basketcase," in the words of AFP. But who better to be a beacon of Zimbabwean tourism than this strapping 88-year-old? He is under a travel ban, after all (specifically they won't let him into Europe, which is inconvenient, seeing as the International Criminal Court is in Europe. Never mind). He has seen so much of Zimbabwe from his throne! He is an expert! [The Guardian]

$
Donate with CC

Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc