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Oh hey, what is up, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein? Anything on your mind? Maybe you'd like to say something about those House Freedom Caucus motherfuckers who say they're going to INPEACH!!!!!111! you, because you refuse to bow to their AUTHORI-TAH? (They have a lot of AUTHORI-TAH because gerrymandering, while it packs Democrats unfairly into districts together, ALSO packs gross cousin-marrying deplorables who vote for far right nutjobs very tightly into their own districts, which leads to the elections of low-information congressmen like Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan.)


Well then, Rod Rosenstein, tell us your thoughts about that impeachment draft (of YOU!) what has recently leaked out of the House of Representatives!

I just don't have anything to say about documents like that nobody has the courage to put their name on, and that they leak in that way. But I can tell you, there have been people who have been making threats privately and publicly against me for quite some time, and I think they should understand by now, the Department of Justice is not going to be extorted. We're going to do what's required by the rule of law, and any kind of threats that anybody makes are not going to affect how we do our job.

YOU HEAR THAT, HOUSE FREEDOM CAUCUS MOTHERFUCKERS? And also, DO YOU HEAR THAT, DONALD FUCKING TRUMP? The DOJ, for all its faults (and it has some!) is not your fucking play toy.

Anything else, Rodlet?

DON'T START NO SHIT, WON'T BE NO SHIT.

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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