Donate

Well, that was the most riveting sentencing hearing we've ever not been in the room for! Yes, it is Wonkette, reporting live on the scene from our house, where we watched on Twitter as Judge Amy Berman Jackson ("ABJ," as she's known to the cool kids) sentenced Roger Stone to 40 months in prison for the seven counts for which he was indicted, tried, and convicted, which included obstruction of justice, witness tampering, and lying his ass off so fucking much to Congress!

LOCK HER UP! THAT'S RIGHT, LOCK HER UP!

No, it wasn't the seven to nine years prosecutors originally asked for, before Attorney General Bill Barr decided after a mean Trump tweet that seven to nine years was just TOO MANY, and filed a new sentencing recommendation without actually withdrawing the original sentencing recommendation. This blatant act of low-rent Roy-Cohn-ing, of course, caused all the line prosecutors on the case to quit in protest, one of them leaving the Justice Department entirely.

The Prosecutors Revolt. No, Not The Old Ones, The NEW ONES!


But oh, what a sentencing hearing it was! First of all, there were new prosecutors from the DC US Attorney's Office, John Crabb Jr. and JP Cooney, who had basically nothing to do with the case before, besides how Crabb signed the new sentencing recommendations. What was weird was that Crabb didn't actually seem to argue much for the sentencing recommendations in the new filing he signed (which said little more than seven to nine years is too many!), but rather argued FOR the enhancements in the ORIGINAL sentencing recommendations. Yes, the ones that could have pushed the sentence up to nine years!

But wait, did Crabb even ... write ... those new sentencing recs? He cannot say, your honor. No really, he cannot say.

But wait, WTF actually happened between the original sentencing recs and the new ones? Where was the alleged "miscommunication" between Barr and the US attorney's office? Um, well, you see, your honor ...

Crabb called Stone's case a "righteous prosecution" and said he definitely should be lockherupped, but ultimately left it up to ABJ, because obviously, Judge, you're the judge, Judge, and you can judge this however you want to, Judge!

Was this a revolt by the new prosecutors? And if so, precisely what the hell has the entire last week been for? The fuck? Donald Trump hasn't been paying attention to Bill Barr's performative tut-tutting about his tweets, the old prosecutors quit, the new prosecutors revolted in court ... will Barr still be attorney general at close of business today?

The Judge Rules.

When ABJ came back from a recess to sentence Stone, she noted she had, "unsurprisingly," a whole lotta things to say about this case, and about Roger Stone. Again, we weren't in the courtroom, but we feel comfortable saying she was not amused by any of this.

ABJ went through Stone's crimes one by one, explaining the severity of each. She noted that Stone's lies to Congress about his contacts with his associates Jerome Corsi and Randy Credico, the witness he tampered with, were not mere errors, since there were about 1,500 texts between him and Credico alone. She noted that because of Stone's obstruction the House Intelligence Committee ended up with an incomplete Russia report. And whose House Intelligence Committee was Stone obstructing at that time? Not Adam Schiff's.

This is a running theme, of course. If Stone and Paul Manafort hadn't obstructed and lied, Robert Mueller very well might have been able to prove conspiracy. Funny how that TOTAL EXONERATION worked out, isn't it?

ABJ noted, in so many words, that Stone was not prosecuted as some sort of Witch Hunt from the Deep State, but for these crimes he committed. She made very clear that "He was not prosecuted, as some have claimed, for standing up for the president. He was prosecuted for covering up for the president." (And that is how America will correctly see Donald Trump's almost certain pardon of Stone.)

ABJ said the original sentencing recs were done well, and there's no evidence the prosecution did anything "untoward." She agreed that seven to nine years might be a little high, but said she didn't need Bill Barr sticking his big ass in the middle of it for Trump's benefit to think that.

Reading a letter from some idiot Stone buddy, who whined that Stone would be SILENCED by all this, ABJ said yeah, pretty sure this dumb fucker is going to keep talking from jail. She called Stone "insecure."

Reading another letter about how Roger Stone is a crusader for rescuing puppies and also for same-sex marriage, ABJ said that's cool, but she's here to sentence him for his crimes.

She called Donald Trump's tweets about the case and the sentencing recommendations "entirely inappropriate" and said she would not be influenced by them. Likewise, she would not be influenced by mean-ass liberals (hi!) who want the fucker to rot in jail forever. This is called being fair.

Here are the last couple of things the judge said before she handed down her sentence:

And Now We Wait For Trump To Have A Rough Poopy And Pardon Roger Stone On Twitter.

Trump tweeted this during the hearing:

Cool. If Bill Barr had any shred of integrity (objection your honor, assumes facts not in evidence) he'd have resigned five minutes ago.

Anyway, now we wait for Donald Trump to just keep showing us what a criminal piece of shit he really is, by pardoning Stone before he ever darkens the door of a prison.

"It's not a question of if," said a former senior administration official who remains in contact with Trump and his senior advisers. "It's when."

What an embarrassing country we live in right now.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc