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Roger Stone WANTS to go to jail. It's the only plausible explanation. No one could possibly be stupid enough to violate Judge Amy Berman Jackson's order so flagrantly and so often and think that he could stay out of the pokey. Not even a guy who's been subsisting on tailpipe fumes from alt-right loony land for a decade. Clearly, Stone fancies himself a sacred martyr, the great patron saint of ratfuckers and conmen.


On February 21, after Stone posted a photo on Instagram of a crosshairs next to her head, Judge Amy Berman Jackson tightened the terms of his pending gag order:

The defendant is prohibited from making statements to the media or in public settings about the Special Counsel's investigation or this case or any of the participants in the investigation or the case. The prohibition includes, but is not limited to, statements made about the case through the following means: radio broadcasts; interviews on television, on the radio, with print reporters, or on internet based media; press releases or press conferences; blogs or letters to the editor; and posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other form of social media. Furthermore, the defendant may not comment publicly about the case indirectly by having statements made publicly on his behalf by surrogates, family members, spokespersons, representatives, or volunteers.

The racist Proud Boys who run Stone's social media were immediately booted off Twitter, which kept him more or less in line for a week. Tech is hard, ya know. But Stone did manage a comment to BuzzFeed on Michael Cohen's congressional testimony, saying, "Mr. Cohen's statement is not true." Which was probably right up to the line, but not over it, since Cohen is not a witness in the case against Stone for lying to Congress.

But Roger Stone and his lawyers may have left out one rather pertinent detail in their last appearance before Her Honor. To wit, they forgot to mention that Roger Stone has a book coming out about the Mueller investigation.

It is FURTHER ORDERED that the defendant shall file an additional submission by March 4, 2019 identifying the specific date of the "imminent general release" of the book referred to on page 2 of the motion and explaining why this matter -- which was known to the defendant -- was not brought to the Court's attention ... particularly given counsel's suggestion that an appropriate order should provide: "[H]e should not be talking about this Court. He should not be talking about the special prosecutor ... There are a lot of reasons why somebody may feel like they should be talking about things like that. But you and I know, as officers of the court, ... this is not appropriate. And that, if we're going to have an order, that's what I ask the Court to do."

Judge Jackson is PISSED. According to Amazon, Roger Stone's book "The Myth of Russian Collusion: The Inside Story of How Donald Trump REALLY Won" dropped on February 19, although Stone was plugging it on his Insta for a March 1 release. But a book about the DEEP STATE conspiracy to use the Justice Department and Special Counsel to take out Donald Trump clearly violates the February 21 order, and we're guessing Her Honor is not going to take kindly to any parsing of the book release date as slightly preceding the gag order.

But wait, there's more! Even after Judge Jackson ordered Stone's lawyers to 'splain her one more time how he shouldn't GO TO JAIL, he was out there this weekend with a Instagram story flogging the DEEP STATE CONSPIRACY narrative and asking his gullible fans to send muneez, plz for his legal defense fund.

Like we said, this 66-year-old idiot actually WANTS to go jail. His lawyers must be delighted. LOCK HIM UP.

[Minute Order, 2/21 via Lawfare / BuzzFeed / CNBC]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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