Let's pretend for the sake of the news cycle that Roger Stone will ever serve a day in prison. Let's pretend that Bill Barr hasn't so thoroughly gutted the Justice Department that it won't find some way to undermine the FBI arrest, prosecution by his own attorneys, and the jury's guilty finding. Let's pretend that Donald Trump won't pardon Stone for obstruction, lying to Congress, tampering with a witness in 2017, all the while blaming Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for doing Deep State conspiracies to a poor, innocent Trump supporter.

Let's pretend the entire country isn't on fire with a giant toddler gleefully sloshing gasoline onto the flames.

And in this fairytale reality where we still have a functioning justice system, Roger Stone will dutifully report to prison on June 30 to serve his sentence like anyone else convicted of a crime.

Well, not just like anyone else. Inmate #19579-104 will be spared the indignity of being sent to one of the designated coronavirus quarantine sites — FCC Yazoo City, MS, FCC Victorville, CA, and FTC Oklahoma City, OK — as specified in the Bureau of Prisons Update on Inmate Movement issued just last week. BOP spokesperson Sue Allison told the Associated Press that prisoners who voluntarily surrender are exempt from the external quarantine requirement and can isolate at their permanent facility because, umm, reasons.


Why, no, this exception is not laid out in the BOP guidance. Maybe it's written in invisible ink that only Trump supporters can see.

But it is consonant with the better treatment affluent, high profile, and usually white prisoners get when they are allowed to voluntarily surrender, rather than being taken into custody at sentencing. And it's entirely of a piece with Donald Trump's pals Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort getting sprung to home confinement during the coronavirus pandemic, when other, similarly situated prisoners are stuck behind bars as COVID-19 ravages the prison population.

In summary and in conclusion, everything is fine. There's nothing to see here. Roger Stone is definitely going to jail, and Donald Trump will definitely not take advantage of this insane news cycle to Friday news dump a pardon for Stone after close of business today.

THE END.

[Politico / AP]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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