roger stone

Bad news, everyone! It seems the events of the past few weeks might be weighing on dear Roger Stone, and it's leading him to lash out like a very rude person who is rude.

We don't know if it's the whole "indicted for all the stuff and probably going to prison for a long time" thing. Maybe it's how the FBI came to his house to arrest him and shooted him to death like El Chapo Bin Laden, but don't worry, he got better! (Did you guys see the home security surveillance video Stone released to prove the FBI stormed his house and beat him to death like a common terrorist? The video, of course, shows a completely peaceful arrest, conducted precisely by the book, and Roger Stone releasing it is simply an own goal proving definitively that he is full of shit. The FBI agents all have excellent butts, though, so FOUR STARS, would watch again.)

Maybe it's the way the FBI raided all his houses, and probably knew exactly what they were looking for, so they can charge him with more crimes. Maybe it's that, on top of all that, his former partner-in-batshit Jerome Corsi is suing him in a COURT OF LAW, repped by none other than powerful superlawyer Larry Klayman. You know what happens when Klayman sues people! (Nothing. It is nothing.)

Whatever it is, dear Grandpa Crime Idiot and his very normal shaped head are upset.

Media Matters reports that Stone went on the InfoWars show (which still exists, even though nobody knows about it anymore ever since Alex Jones got banned from All Things) to nail his grievances to the church door, and let's just say he wasn't very politically correct about it. We will just lovingly borrow the transcript from Media Matters:

OWEN SHROYER (CO-HOST): Roger, what is it like? I mean, you have Ana Navarro, you have Don Lemon, you have Stephen Colbert -- you have all these mainstream media hacks just lying about you, celebrating this illegal takedown of you. I mean -- this is sick, Roger. I don't even know what to say at this point.

It's just SICK! He doesn't know what to say! (A good thing to say is "LOL.")

ROGER STONE (CO-HOST): Owen, Owen, this is really simple. A man is known by his enemies. Ana Navarro, porquita, a little piglet. This woman is 50 pounds of [Rep. Adam] Schiff in a 20-pound bag. Talentless. No accomplishment. She's the "political consultant" who's never actually elected anybody to anything. She's really a nasty diva, very abusive of the makeup people, and the hair people, waiters, doormen, cab drivers, and she's accomplished nothing. She's an enormous sack of Schiff and an abusive person on top of it. So, I revel in your hatred, Ana, and when I'm acquitted I'm going to go right back to criticizing you for your total lack of talent or intelligence. Puerco is what I would say.

Roger Stone's so mad at Ana Navarro he's going to be sexist and racist at the same time. Navarro is a consistent target of Stone's temper tantrums, so it's not unexpected that he would be transferring his stresses onto her right now, and yes, he has to be such a dick about it, because he always is. Navarro hasn't responded to this latest slight, because why would she, but she tweeted this about Stone recently, so we're pretty sure she's not too concerned about whatever he says:

Mazel tov, Ana!

Back to the transcript:

STONE: Now Don Lemon, those glasses, by the way, have windowpane glass in them. He doesn't need glasses, he wears those to try to look intelligent, but in all honesty it doesn't help. As far as Stephen Colbert is concerned -- that's right, Stephen, that's the way it is.

Weak sauce, Roger, very weak.

One more try?

STONE: So, you know, as I said in the movie Get Me Roger Stone, which unfortunately Robert Mueller watched and thought it was entitled "Get Roger Stone," I revel in the hatred of these leftist retards. They're not talented; they're not funny.

Roger Stone said the R-word, because he is not going to play by your PC RULES, a long time after everyone else said, "hurting people's feelings for being developmentally disabled is maybe not the hilarious hill we want to die on." And then he, a noted humor expert, said the leftists aren't actually funny, and he would know, because he is a humor expert.

All right, we've spent enough time letting Roger Stone air his grievances, and shall now go back to simply celebrating his pain and making fun of the shape of his head. Also gonna watch the arrest video again, because FBI guys with hot butts taking Roger Stone to jail is just good old-fashioned family entertainment.

Watch Mueller Team Arrest Roger Stone | The Beat With Ari Melber |

OH WAIT, did you see that picture Marlee Matlin tweeted of Roger Stone getting his hairdo done at the salon, and it looked like he was getting the point at the top of his head ... sharpened?

That's right, Roger Stone pays human beings American dollars to make him look like that.

Anyway, post over!

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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