May 11, 2007 12:24 PM
Romney Just Unexciting Enough to Get Excited About
Republican primary voters are wary of Mitt Romney because he wears magic underwear, doesn't drink coffee, has the hair of the undead, and used to be a liberal. But their other choices are a tiny fascistic abortion-loving drag queen and a 100-year-old angry lunatic, so some of them are hedging their bets and going with the Mormon. Romney couldn't be more thrilled. "This is an updraft for me," he tells the New York Times. Just look how excited conservative evangelicals are about his candidacy:
"If nobody better comes along, I'm going to vote for him," Mr. Gordon said. "But I'm hoping somebody better comes along."
Reached for comment, Mike Huckabee, Sam Brownback, and Duncan Hunter all shed single tears. Newt Gingrich said something incomprehensible in phonetically read Spanish.