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Ron Paul a Massive Jesuser

eff the slavesSince his dipshit performance on Sunday's Meet the Press, former decent human being Ron Paul's own Paultardation has been soaring to new vistas. He's also, however, a well-known Jesuser -- so Jesusery, in fact, that he doesn't believe in evolution! Like teh Huckbeez! Can these people even breathe with all that batshit in their mouths?


In a YouTube video from last week, Paul takes a breather from the usual "BWAH bwah NAFTA highway taxes INFLATION TAXES bwah BWAH" to discuss his ardent support for the Crazy (via Carpetbagger):

Audience member: I saw you in one of the earlier debates, all of the candidates were asked if they believe the theory of evolution to be true and they had a show of hands, but I didn't see which way you voted, and I was wondering if you believe it to be true, and should it be taught in our schools.

Paul: First, I thought it was a very inappropriate question, you know, for the presidency to be decided on a scientific matter. And I, um, I think it's a theory, theory of evolution, and I don't accept it, you know, as a theory.... I just don't think we're at a point where anybody has absolute proof, on either side.

Ron Paul, of course, is a semi-retired OB-GYN, so I asked colleague Megan Carpentier how this general hatred of science struck her:

Megan: just the kind of doc i want peering at my lady bits

Jim: omg imagine if ron paul was your gynecologist

Megan: NO! I WILL NOT IMAGINE THAT!

Jim: IMAGINE I SAYS

Megan: i wish to want to have sex again!

Megan: [whimpers}

Jim: RON PAUL STARES AT LADY VAGINAS

Megan: [crosses legs]

Megan: i do not wish to imagine ron paul's hands or face anywhere near my catbag

Megan: [begins to cry quietly]

Jim: it's kind of like imagining cynthia mckinnon as my urologist

Megan: mckinney

Megan: but, yes

Jim: whatever

Jim: crazy bitch

Megan: her finger up your bum

Megan: turn your head and cough

Jim: then she SLAPS your balls

So hopefully that was enlightening. GO RON PAUL 2008!!!!!

Yet another GOP candidate rejects modern biology [Carpetbagger Report]

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While the year 2018 will be remembered for a lot of (mostly terrible) things, it should also go down in history as the year two entirely different women got married to ghosts. Most recently, a lady named Amethyst Realm (of course) made headlines by claiming that after having had sex with at least 20 different ghosts, she had finally settled down with one she met on a flight to Australia. As one does.

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Time for another episode of Poppy's Bad Tweets, wherein we answer the eternal question, DOES COMMANDER TWITTER THUMBS HAVE A POINT, OR IS HE JUST SMOCKING CRACK?

(Spoiler alert ....)

Yeah, About That NO COLLUSION...

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