Rudy Guliani was asked a relatively straightforward question at a Town Hall meeting in Iowa: Is he a practicing Catholic? America's straight-talking mayor punted:

My religious affiliation, my religious practices and the degree to which I am a good or not so good Catholic, I prefer to leave to the priests.

Yes, with the accretion of two millenia of dogma and canon law, not even a smart guy like Rudy, who ran the biggest city in America, can figure out whether he's actually a Catholic in good standing or not! Fortunately, unlike the protestants, who insist on burdening everybody with a "personal relationship with Jesus" that you have to maintain at all times, Catholicism comes with a professional priestly class who are paid to keep track of these things. All you have to do is file an information request at your local diocesan office, and you should be able to find out whether or not your're a good Catholic in the six to eight weeks it takes to process at the appropriate office in Rome. The thrice-married pro-choice candidate has an inside track, though: he could always just ask this guy.

Giuliani questioned about Catholicism [NewsOne]