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OH, NOES! Watch your back, Mueller! TV personality Rudy Giuliani is threatening to open up a can of whoopass if the Russia investigation doesn't close up shop in the next three weeks. And this time he really means it, Mister!

The president's "lawyer" has been flapping his yap to anyone with a microphone, accusing Robert Mueller of "doing a Comey." Seriously!


Tuesday, he told Bloomberg,

If he doesn't get it done in the next two or three weeks we will just unload on him like a ton of bricks. Write the damn report so we can see it and rebut it.

Sunday he sat down with noted legal scholar Sean Hannity to lawsplain how Justice Department regulations will do LOCK HER UPS to Robert Mueller if he doesn't clear the president before the election.

If it isn't over by September, then we have a very, very serious violation of the Justice Department rules, and he shouldn't be conducting one of these investigations in the 60-day period.

And then this asshole, who was all over TV talking up FBI leaks about Hillary's emails one goddamn week before the election, was arrested for AGGRAVATED MURDER OF IRONY. Probably!

In point of fact, there's no DOJ rule requiring Mueller to wrap it up 60 days before the election, particularly since Donald Trump isn't even on the ballot. He's barred from timing law enforcement actions to influence the vote, but that doesn't mean the whole inquiry has to shut down before November. Nor does it mean that Giuliani can dick around for an entire year over whether his client will consent to sit for an interview, and then claim NOW IT'S ILLEGAL because "They can't be interviewing him privately. Everyone will know they will be interviewing him and speculating like crazy."

But wait, there's more crazy over at the Post!

We are of the opinion that Trump's IRL lawyers tell Rudy as little as possible, knowing that he'll just vomit it up in a privilege- (and appetite-) destroying word salad the second a reporter sticks a mic in his face. But let's just assume arguendo that Rudy really is in the loop with the president's legal team. If America's Mayor is correct, then the White House is gearing up for a showdown when Mueller issues a subpoena for Trump to testify before the grand jury.

"We would move to quash the subpoena," Giuliani said in an interview. "And we're pretty much finished with our memorandum opposing a subpoena."

Giuliani added that Trump's attorneys are ready to "argue it before the Supreme Court, if it ever got there."

In recent weeks, Giuliani said members of Trump's team have "had conversations" with Emmet T. Flood, a White House lawyer working on issues related to the federal investigation. He said Flood "would have a big role to play here and would assert presidential privilege" but declined to say more about those discussions.

Which is what Emmet Flood was hired to do in the first place. Unlike Rudy, who hasn't tried a federal case in decades and whose main utility is spewing bullshit for the rubes, Flood is a serious lawyer, who likely took this thankless gig as a way to advance his own ideas about the vast powers of the executive branch. This is his moment!

So, will it work? Will courts quash a subpoena because it interferes with the president's solemn obligations to tweet bilious nonsense and play golf and shout lunacies to QAnon nutters at campaign rallies?

Precedent suggests that courts would order Trump to testify, as they did for Nixon and Clinton. But, as Lawfare points out,

It is also possible that the current Supreme Court, which includes only four of the justices who heard Clinton, would see matters differently. But based on the law as it stands today, we think it unlikely that the the president could successfully oppose a facially valid subpoena for grand jury testimony.

The president, of course, could refuse to comply with a subpoena even after it has been upheld by the Supreme Court. As the story goes, President Nixon seriously contemplated such a course after the Supreme Court ruled against him in July 1974. In such a circumstance, the ultimate question would not be up to the courts, but rather to Congress.

Hey, have we mentioned, YOU SHOULD FUCKING VOTE?!?!?!?

But even if he loses that fight, it's cool! Because he'll have wasted a lot of time and gotten past the midterms. Says the president's own lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.

Giuliani said the Trump legal team, which briefed Trump last week, is mapping out a subpoena battle that could stretch on for months.

"Even if we responded in 10 days to a subpoena, it would have to be decided by a district court judge, and you could appeal it in a circuit court, and then you argue it before the Supreme Court, if it ever got there," he said.

OR, Rudy has no fucking idea what's going on. They just send him out on TV to shout crazy shit, about PERJURY TRAPS and BRICKS and HER EMAILS to distract the Old Man as the real lawyers negotiate a plea deal.

Who the hell knows with this gang of idiots!

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[Bloomberg / Fox / WaPo / Lawfare]

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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