Donald Trump's "legal team" did some "stuff" today. No, we do not mean they appealed something to the Supreme Court or filed a case with good words or legal arguments in it, they just did some "stuff."

Here, let the president explain:


Moments later, Trump complained that his erstwhile BFF Fox News was not even airing the "stuff."

LOL, they even slap the bullshit label on Trump tweets telling his moron supporters to turn on OANN now.

If you've been following the serious legal news of America, you know Trump's "legal team" has been throwing "hearings," wherein Rudy Giuliani humps the air and does very serious legal things. Sometimes this happens at the Four Seasons Total Landscape out by the porn store, sometimes it happens somewhere else equally esteemed in legal circles. (Today it was at a Hyatt Regency, but we are not sure if that's the hotel or some kind of Christian dildo dispensary store they have in Arizona that we're not aware of.)

The big news today was that Rudy Giuliani had a "witness" who says he talked to the son of a guy from Cuba -- yes, the son of that guy, not the guy himself -- who said he has "firsthand knowledge" from talking to some people in Hugo Chavez's family -- who in Hugo Chavez's family? Dunno -- that Hugo Chavez STOLED THE ELECTION FOR JOE BIDEN FROM BEYOND THE GRAAAAAAAVE WITH DOMINION VOTING MACHIIIIIIIIINES.

Or something. It is a very serious witness, and this would definitely hold up in court, which is why they are at court right now arguing it to a real judge nope.

The other big news today is that Rudy Giuliani has TOTAL PROOF that poll workers in Arizona literally told people who to vote for and changed votes from Trump to Biden and stuffed the ballot box, and he says he will "try to quantify" those allegations at some point, which will definitely involve him going to a real court and showing it to a real judge nope.

In summary and in conclusion DOMINION and HUGO CHAVEZ and FRAUD and mostly what they are bitching about is Black people voting and they will be in court presenting this case to a real judge just as soon as nope.

Also Arizona certified its election results today. So.


[videos via Justin Baragona]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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