Has everyone had a chance to read about Dominion Voting Systems and its hilarious $1.3 billion lawsuit against Rudy Giuliani for spreading malicious batshit lies about their voting machines being controlled by the Biden-voting dead corpse of Hugo Chavez, or whatever it is Giuliani believes? If you have not, you should, because Dominion is not fucking around. The suit notes that Giuliani has "directly accused Dominion of fraud, election fixing, conspiracy, and bribery, which are serious crimes," and since Dominion hasn't done any of those things, it wants Rudy's MONNNNNN-AY.

The suit also goes to great lengths to demonstrate that, on top of how Rudy's defamatory libelous bullshit has been terribly damaging to Dominion itself, it's also all a big grift for Rudy. He's been using Donald Trump's fascist Big Lie about the election being stolen to sell his followers cybersecurity solutions and fraud solutions and ... cigar solutions! and ... gold and silver solutions! and ... joint supplement solutions! and ... all kindsa solutions! If you need a solution, Rudy's got one!

Giuliani responded yesterday by saying he was just really excited about the lawsuit, because it meant he could do discovery and find all the very serious Dominion crimes that definitely exist, you betcha:

"Dominion's defamation lawsuit for $1.3B will allow me to investigate their history, finances, and practices fully and completely. The amount being asked for is, quite obviously, intended to frighten people of faint heart. It is another act of intimidation by the hate-filled left-wing to wipe out and censor the exercise of free speech, as well as the ability of lawyers to defend their clients vigorously. As such, we will investigate a countersuit against them for violating these Constitutional rights."

OK.

Giuliani went on the radio later yesterday, after he released his initial very tough man statement, and really upped the ante against Dominion, if by "upped the ante" you mean he verbally pulled down his pants, shook his chram around, rubbed his chram on the doorknob, and then accused the doorknob of stealing one million votes from Donald Trump and giving them to Joe Biden.



GIULIANI: Well I tell you I'm a crazy guy, I really am, I'm just really crazy.

Sir.

Perhaps we are taking that out of context, let's find out:

GIULIANI: I haven't been hiding anything. You're the ones who have been hiding the machines. You won't show anybody a single machine. I've already gotten to see 22, and they look real bad, the 22 that we've seen.

Dominion won't show anybody ANY machines, but Rudy has seen 22 of them, and they just look real bad, and he is a cyber expert — evidence here, here, here, and here — therefore he would know.

So, has Rudy been playing with Dominion machines out in his garage late at night? Or worse, is he under the impression he has been doing that, but really it's just an old ham radio his family is telling him is a "Dominion voting machine"? Does he think his chram is a "Dominion voting machine"? Is Hugo Chavez inside his chram, giving votes to Joe Biden?

GIULIANI: I'm dying to see the rest so come on, come on guys, you gave us what we've been looking for for a long time ...

He needs to see more machiiiiiiiiiiiines! How many? Oh just all of 'em!

GIULIANI: ... and I don't know how many people you've sued and I know why you're doing it. $1.3 billion — like really, $1.3 billion?

What do you think I am, some kind of jackass?

Asked and answered, your honor.

GIULIANI: That's intended to frighten me. You want to frighten me. You want to scare me, like you have some of these companies and stations that have gone ahead and kissed your you-know-what. Because they're afraid of you. Well I tell you I'm a crazy guy, I really am, I'm just really crazy.

Rudy is batshit and naked, but he is NOT afraid! Could he have some pudding?

GIULIANI: So not only haven't you scared me, you've actually given me something that I couldn't get through the censorship that's been set up so nobody can see your machines.

Right. All of this is normal, and we bet Dominion Voting Machines is quaking in its boots.

Dominion's lawsuit notes that Giuliani's alleged FraudSlanderLibelCusses about their totally normal voting machines were made "in concert with Sidney Powell, Russell Ramsland, L. Lin Wood, Mike Lindell, Patrick Byrne, Lou Dobbs, Fox News, Fox Business, Newsmax, One America News Network ('OAN'), The Epoch Times, and other like-minded allies and media outlets determined to promote a false preconceived narrative about the 2020 election." Dominion has already sued Sidney Powell. We will not be surprised if more lawsuits are a-comin', up to and including maybe one against Donald J. Trump of Palm Beach, Florida, since Dominion notes that the former president himself said Dominion's name while he was inciting that terrorist attack on January 6.

All of these people are reaping exactly what they've sown, and we are OK with that.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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